Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Postby SteveHopwood » Wed Oct 06, 2021 10:30 pm

I have taken to going into school on a Wednesday afternoon as well as my usual Monday and Thursday. I can arrange extra lessons for kids that can benefit from them, then I stay behind after school to help Miss out with her so-called, "Senior choir."

Sadly for me, the department is full of teaching on a Wednesday afternoon so I find myself back in The Dungeon. Hey ho.

I leave the door open so that we do not become overcome by heat. I was coming to the end of my first victim's lesson when I sensed a presence behind me - I sit with my back to the door. Lilly was my current victim.

I said to Lilly, "I sense a presence behind me. Am I correct?" The next bit alternates.

"Yes."

"Does it look like my next victim?"

"Yes."

"Does it look terrified?"

"No."

"Tell it to be terrified."

"Sir says you must be terrified."

"Has it worked?"

"No."

Hey ho. Next victim was Bailey and my chances of terrifying her are zero. She had me summed up within moments of meeting me.

------------------

Here comes the best clanger I have dropped in my entire time at the school. I do not expect to outdo this one. Bailey and I were doing our thingies when a lady I do not know appeared at the doorway and asked, "How is she doing?"

Parents do occasionally work at the school their progeny attend. It is a large school. There are many staff. Us peri's apart, I know four of them. I replied, "Bailey is doing brilliantly." Then I asked, "Are you her mum?"

The lady took the question really well as she replied matter of factly, "No. I am this school's Head Teacher."

Oops.

I placed myself in between Bailey's barely suppressed sniggers as me and God briefly discussed my plans for B's progress. God is a busy lady so her interest waned rapidly. She moved on.

Bailey could finally explode. She burst into fits of laughter. She finally managed after a while, "You asked the head teacher of our school if she is my mum," and continued to snigger until my next victim turned up.

I told the story around the department subsequently. It caused a lot of mirth.

---------------

My next victim was Jas for an extra lesson. I launched into my usual round of insults then remembered and exclaimed, "Darling. Sorry. I am supposed to be being kind to you. I promised this last time around."

Came the reply, "You are really bad at that."

"You know why that is, Jas?"

I should have known she was already composing her reply to my reply to what she said next. "No".

"Because I don't like you."

Came the complacent reply that she had already worked out, "No. Of course you don't," and carried on playing.

Jas is correct, of course. I do not like her. I worship her. There is a difference of magnitude. :lol:

----------

Then came senior choir. This is a bit of a mis-description because it consists of 7 members at the mo. The term, "Senior" has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with ability to sing and willingness to turn up to rehearsals each week. Their numbers will grow when the kids in the school come to recognise that Miss is serious about this and is not going to cancel rehearsals for anything other than serious illness on her part. These are wonderful kids and I am happy to devote an hour of my time to them. "Junior" choir meets on a Tuesday and is open to anyone who wants a sing for however long or short they want to do so. I am devoting nothing to them.

Joey should have been there. This is the Joey who led me such a dance last Thursday at the concert. She even had a singing lesson with Miss this afternoon. She was missing.

Miss was not best pleased. Joey faces an unhappy meeting with Miss. Every kid I ever talk to about Miss agrees that she is wonderful until crossed, then there is trouble.............. "Wonderful Miss" she is. Mr Softie Steve she ain't.

Knowing the 12 year olds in the group I announced, "Joey is 12. What if we make it a rule that 12 year olds missing this rehearsal should be horribly punished?"

An aggrieved 12 year old Faith (One Thousand Years last week) cried out, "I am 12 and I never miss. What if I happen to be ill?"

I thought for a few seconds and then announced, "The new rule only applies to those whose first names begin with J."

"OK," she replied happily, "I can go with that."

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

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Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Postby SteveHopwood » Fri Oct 15, 2021 11:01 pm

Kids performing are prone to doing absolutely anything. Following an instrumental interlude, they will: come in early; come in late; forget what to come in with and need it calling out to them; anything else you care to name.

So the adult accompanying them has to be prepared for this. Often this is me, I am, I am brilliant at accommodating them. I make it look easy - rather like anyone who is expert at anything makes what s/he is doing look simple. People take me for granted.

Our school musical next term is, "Matilda." I have viewed a few clips on Youtube and it looks like fun. Last week was audition time. I was not required but was in school and so stuck around for the entertainment. I was not disappointed.

Miss may be a rubbish pianist (masterly understatement) but she can, "Bash out a few chords," whilst accompanying singers. Miss understands harmony. There were a wonderful gathering of about 40 kids for the audition. The audition song was, "When I grow up." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96JDkI2tBhI should you be masochistic enough to want to imagine sitting through 40 performances of the first verse of the song. :lol:

Some of the kids could sing. Most could not. Some of them could keep in time. Most could not. After Miss shot at me her look of despair after trying to keep up with about the 15th of them I offered, "Welcome to my world."

The reason Miss was doing the accompaniment? Members of the senior choir (all auditioning and going to get major pats) know me and so can work with me fearlessly. The other 30 do not and so would be even more terrified than normal. Miss had my total support.

I could not resist some reinforcement of my skills. Having valliently managed to keep up with the latest miscreant for whom the printed score was merely a basis for negotiation, Miss looked at me in despair. "Welcome to my world," I offered back.

Come the end of the auditions and an exhausted Miss said to me, "That was soooooo tiring. I was reduced to banging out a chord and hoping for the best."

Sometimes that is all we can do for the kids we accompany so I replied, "You were fantastic. You did just what they needed."

--------------------------

Miss is fantastic. She can make mistakes. Who amongst us does not?

Imagine one of my pupils, Bailey. Quiet. Shy. 12 years old but Y8, so rising 13 this year. Polite. Studious. A joy to teach. I am more likely to get a detention in school than her. Considerably more likely.

One of the joys of modern technology is that everything a teacher thinks about a child is recorded on the database and communicated to the parents.

Which happened to be highly useful here. Miss is Bailey's year group tutor - along with Jas and Ethan.

So when Miss received a polite email from Bailey's mum asking, "Why has Bailey been given a detention for repeated disruption in class?" Trust me folks, mum wanted to nip problems at the bud.

The idea that Bailey would be a disruption in class was ridiculous.It just could not happen. Ever.

So Miss investigated. Here is what happened. Bailey came to me for a piano lesson during the last third of her music class with Miss. A few of the kids deserved a 'merit' mark during the lesson, including Bailey. Because Baily was missing, she did not receive her computerised merit mark. Instead, she received a detention.

Miss attempted to add Bailey's merit mark later on but after she had added names for detentions for persistent misbehaviour and which somehow Bailey's name had become added to.

All sorted out later. Phew.

Do we bless modern technology, or what?

Bailey really should take GCSE music. She is an ideal candidate. Mum and Mis
sorted it out between themselves.

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Global Prime is the official SHF broker. Click here to sign up for a live account with Global Prime and join the several thousand SHF members who wisely choose GP as their broker of choice.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Tommaso (milanese) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
 
Posts: 9500
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

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