Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Locked
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

Here is a round up of events from last week. The teens were in top lunacy form, so enjoy.


Tuesday:
Some lovely stuff from school today. I arrived and went in search of Jeremy for some Aural test practise. He was in room 146 along with the rest of the Motley Crew of Musical Reprobates. Wonderful, fantastic, brilliant school music teacher was sat at her desk doing stuff on the computer, so I wandered over to say hello. School music teacher will henceforth be knows as, “Miss”. It is what the kids call her and makes typing easier for me.

"Wonderful news," she enthused, "Our last day of term INSET training day has been cancelled."

"INSET" stands for, "In Service Training" and takes place on a day when the kids are not in school. Teachers of a certain age in the UK will remember them as, "Baker days". Not to worry if you do not understand. Suffice to say that. back in the early 1980's, the then Secretary of State for Education persuaded the teachers' unions to sacrifice 6 days of their annual leave for a pittance, and they have suffered for it ever since.

I endured some whilst teaching in a 6th form college back in the early 90's. They are uniformly bollocks, so the news that the upcoming one has been cancelled will have been greeted with joy by every staffer at the school.

"We still have to do some work, but can do it on our computers at home. I shall do mine whilst still wearing my pyjamas" announced Miss with a sigh of pleasure.

There were some members of the MC sat just opposite and within easy hearing range. One of them asked, "How will they <i.e. school management> know that you have been working, Miss?"

"They will check my computer files," came the reply. I could not resist a tease, so I said to the MC member, "You do realise that senior management know every move that everyone in the school makes, don't you? Their eyes are everywhere."

MC member asked doubtfully, "What, even us pupils?"

"Yes," I replied, "Their eyes are everywhere."

I could see this child thinking, "Why am I not in detention all the time for all the mischief I get up to?" so I said, "I know what you are thinking. The reason you are not permanently in detention is that you get up to harmless mischief. You are not a bad child. Just make sure it stays that way, or you are in trouble."

The boy in question looked highly doubtful but decided that the, "Let sleeping dogs lie" proverb was a good one to observe and retired back into conversation with his pals.

I took Jeremy off to 149, only to find it full of a younger Motley Crew, including Amy sat at the piano. There was a teensy little Tambourine-like instrument on the table next to her and she would reach across occasionally and tap it with a stick.

Suddenly she reached across and gave the drum a thwack that would have risked damage to a Timpani. Miss had changed rooms to prepare for her next lesson and so witnessed the thwack, and intervened immediately. “Stop doing that Amy. You will damage it, your parents will have to pay for a replacement and you will be in detention for a long time.”

“Sorry Miss.”

Bestie Gabby chimed in with, “Give her a detention Miss. Please. Please. Go on. Please.”

“Shut up, slave”.

Jeremy and I went to The Dungeon for his aural practise. He will get full marks in the exam. Next victim was Evie and we could go into 146 as it had emptied after the bell called kids to their next class. On the table next to Evie was an identical teensy Tambourine that Amy had been walloping. The first thing Evie did was pick it up and start tapping. How is a child supposed to resist, after all? Tambourines and their tiny offshoots are made for tapping.

I had been arranging the practise book on the piano stand through this, so when I looked up Evie hurriedly replaced it on the table. “It's OK angel,” I said, “Pick it up and tap randomly on it as much as you want. There has to be some compensation for cruelly being made to practise Aural tests.”

The first test involves the candidate listening to a few seconds of a tune twice, then clapping in time to it when played a third time. Evie tapped the Tambourine instead, clearly enjoying herself.

I said to her as we were finishing the session later on, “You should ask Miss if you can borrow it for the exam.”

“Do you think the examiner would mind?”

“Nope. He would simply sigh inwardly and resign himself to dealing with yet another standard issue teen nutter.” She won't of course. This is the little girl who could not even bring herself to wind up the guitar teacher she trusts absolutely, so no chance with a total stranger.

I was teaching Charlie later on. Kids had wandered in and out to pick up and replace Ukuleles. A group of four came towards the end of their music class, one of whom was Gracie.

“Felicitations” came from her.

“Greetings, dearest child.”

Gracie was looking chuffed with herself. Her class had been doing some performance assessments and she announced proudly, “I have just been given a 9 in my assessment, playing the piano.” GCSE grades go from 1 to 9, with 9 being the highest.

Time for some praise. “Fantastic darling. Well done. I am proud of you.” <Brief pause> “Still don't like you, though.”

“I would not expect you to,” she replied.

This little group were all Y8 kids i.e. 12-13 years old. One of them, a very small boy, decided to join in the fun. He turned to me and asked, “Do you like me?”

“Of course I do. How could I not?”

Not all the kids know me as do the likes of Gracie, Amy et al. On their way out through the door I heard one of them ask doubtfully, “Does he really not like you?” Came the reply, “He does, very much. He just likes to insult everybody.”

-------------------------

Thursday:
You would have to go a long way back to the start of this thread to read about her, if you do not remember violinist Alex. How I drove her to Louth (100 mile round trip) at the age of 18 or so, to do a midday recital with me? How she was a standard issue 18 year old teen nutter at the time and so I drove both ways with BBC Radio 1 (dreadful 'pop' music station) coming out of the car radio?

15 years down the line and Alex has changed from being the sweetest teen I had ever met (imagine what an accolade that is) to the best adult you could ever wish to meet. I would trust her with my life.

She continues to perform at corporate and wedding events, so go to her website at https://www.alexandraviolinist.co.uk/ to read about her - especially if you want a violinist for a wedding or some sort of corporate event. Alex has added teaching to her repertoire of professional activities.

She contacted me last week to ask me to accompany one of her pupils, Fran, in a grade 2 violin exam. I got together for a rehearsal on Tuesday with Fran and we had a great time. It turns out that Alex's teaching skills match her performing skills and Fran is a joy to work with.

For unimportant reasons in this description, the exam was to be held at Grimsby on the east coast, 45 miles away from here, so a 90 mile round trip to accompany a poxy G2 exam lasting 12 minutes. Alex cunningly refrained from mentioning that it was not a local exam until I had agreed to do the accompanying. :lol: Once agreed there was no going back. I could no more say no to Alex than I could to Amy/Gracie/Charlie et al. Just a difference in age, is all.

Here is a thing. String players need to have their instruments tuned before a performance - a delicate skill. Alex teaches her pupils to tune their violins so Fran knows how to do this. Consider this: in the hands of a nervous child just before an exam, anything can happen. OK, so given disaster I would do my best but it is not easy to tune a string instrument accurately <note one of Steve's masterly understatements>. So I was rather happy when Alex told me she was coming to the exam to ensure accurate tuning.

Granny was tasked with the job of getting Fran there.

So, we were looking at a round trip of 90 or so miles carried out by three separate vehicles all to ensure that one child can attend an insignificant (in the grand scheme of thingies) amateur graded exam lasting 12 minutes.

This thought occurred to me in time for me to contact Alex and suggest that: we all congregate at her house; she has a lovely car and so does the driving; I would pay for the fuel. One car instead of three. All was duly arranged.

OK, so we still had three adults tied up in delivering one tiny experience to a 14 year old child, but any parent who ever lived will confirm that children are resource-hungry individuals and can only develop into well-rounded individuals if said resources are provided for them. They cannot do it for themselves.

So, we all trooped off to Grimsby. Alex and Fran adore each other. Alex and I adored each other from the first second we met all those years ago. I adored Fran at first sight. Gran adores Alex, who adores her right back and Gran and I made an instant connection via our mutual adoration of Fran and Alex.

So, the entire round trip turned out to be a bit of a love-fest whose memory I will cherish for a long time. :lol:

Oh, and the exam went brilliantly. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Hehe. The fee I charge for this kind of work makes it worthwhile doing financially. Usually. This time, factoring in all the time spent, the money on fuel and 'therapies' for Fran, I probably worked for about half the UK national minimum wage. This happens to me from time to time. Hey ho.

It was worth it for the entertainment value and a treasured memory. :clap:

---------------------------------

Friday:
Back in school to make up the teaching I missed because of the massive round trip to Grimsby.

I was in 146 and arrived just as the Younger Motley Crew were finishing up and preparing to leave. In wandered Charlie for his piano lesson. He was sat at the piano when one of the girls strolled up and slapped him across the top of his head, none too gently. Then she said to me, “Bye Sir” and headed towards the door.

Charlie barely reacted to the blow so I said, “That was harsh Charlie.”

Came the reply, “It's OK. She is my best mate.”

I called out to best mate's retreating back, “Sweetheart?” She turned to me so I asked, “Charlie is claiming that you and he are besties. Is this true. Does he really have a friend?”

“Yes Sir.”

“How much does his mum pay you?”

<evil grin> “Nowhere near enough” and off she went.

Charlie's note reading has come on apace recently. He is just the latest in a long line of pupils I had previously been expected to prepare for a GCSE music performance despite them not actually reading music. I always found it strange that kids could take a qualification in a subject whilst being functionally illiterate in it. It turns out that Miss agrees with me.

Suddenly, a term into Miss' tenure, Charlie is starting to read music for himself without needing to resort to his cheat sheet. I remarked on this improvement and his reply was, “Miss was furious when she discovered that half of us could not read music and has bullied us until we learned.”

Good on you, Miss. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Little Sweetie Sarah pitched up for her lesson so I growled, “Go away, pain in the neck” at Charlie and called out, “Come on in, wonderful child” to Sarah.

Charlie said, “Come and be tortured Sarah. It is your turn to suffer.”

Sarah looked at me complacently and asked of me, “You would not torture me, would you Sir?”

“No angel. I like you.”

Sarah looked smug, Charlie gave me that smile and wandered off with a call of, “See you next week.” I hope so.

Our lesson progressed and was interrupted when Miss came to pick up some files. She announced, “Sarah got 100% in her performance assessment earlier. She was fabulous.”

Sarah beamed.

I asked her what she played and it turned out to be the first piece in her beginners' book that involved playing with both hands at the same time.

I said, “Sarah, that is fantastic. I am soooooooooo proud of you.”

Her beam could have run the national grid.

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

Charlie entertained me royally this afternoon, with some help from Georgina.

Charlie explained that the rock band are repeating one of the songs from the recent concert in the upcoming Christmas concert, but that he had lost the piano music.

"Not to worry," I consoled him, "Miss will have a replacement." "Are you sure?" asked a doubtful C. "Yes" I replied. "Miss knows she is dealing with a standard issue teen nutter here and will be aware of the 100% certainty that you will lose the music."

Charlie chose that moment to draw my attention to the two identical school uniform ties he was wearing by flicking them."

With my usual sense of dread and despair I asked, "I know I am going to regret asking this, but why are you wearing two identical ties?"

"I could not decide which one to wear, so I wore them both."

I muttered to the ceiling, for the umpteenth time in my career, "Why me?"

Charlie had pitched up at the end of Little Sweetie Sarah's lesson and I had said to him, "Ehup Sam." I thought for a few seconds and then said, "Sorry Charlie. I just called you Sam."

Then I thought for a few more seconds and intoned, "Actually, you are definitely a Sam - the archetypal Sam in fact. Your name must be Sam. Have your name changed immediately." Charlie simply gave me that smile and carried on getting his music out.

The end of the day was 10 minutes away when Georgina bounced in announcing, "Ignore me. I am in here after school, so I am just parking for a few minutes."

Everybody should have a Georgi in their lives. I will be desperately worried if I ever see this young lady without a smile on her face. I pointed disparagingly to Charlie and replied, "No problem sweetheart. You are most welcome. Besides, it will relieve some of the pain of dealing with this idiot. He doesn't even know what his name is."

Knowing there was entertainment coming, G replied, "What does he think his name is?"

"Charlie."

"What is his real name?"

"Sam."

Georgi thought for a few seconds and then replied, "His mum will have been calling him Sam for the last 14 years. You would think he would have noticed that he keeps on getting it wrong."

"Quite, Georgi. You see the level of idiocy I have to deal with."

Charlie chimed in with, "My parents considered Thomas as a name as well." Georgi and I both shook our heads and agreed that, "Oh no. You look nothing like a Thomas. You had to be a Sam."

The bell went for the end of the school day and one of Charlie's friends wandered in calling out, "Hi Charlie." Georgi came straight out with, "For goodness' sake, don't you start as well. His name is Sam. Get it right."

Friend looked from G to me to C, shook his head in silent despair and left the lunatics to run the asylum.

-----------------------------

Here are a couple of lovely stories from the G2 violin exam last Thursday that I forgot to include. Fran took her violin and shoulder rest from the case and one end of the rest promptly fell off. A screw had come unstuck and flown off into the middle distance. Time to find it.

The exam organiser was in the room at the time, so there were four adults and one child grovelling around on the floor looking for this blasted screw. Said child had deposited the violin on the floor and was inches away from demolishing it with her knee.

I said to her, "Fran, just say so if you do not want to do this exam. There is no need to back out of it by crushing your violin."

"Oops. Thanks, Steve". Such a refreshing change to be a 'Steve' rather than a 'Sir."

We cut short the screw's bid for freedom, so Fran rebuilt the shoulder rest and placed it on the violin, ready for action. Alex chimed in with, "Fran, just to make sure you do not get caught short in the exam, go to the toilet now."

Fran obediently wandered off to find the loo. Once she was out of sight, Alex picked up the violin, removed the shoulder rest, turned it around and replaced it, announcing, "She had it the wrong way around and would have been hopeless trying to play with it. I sent her to the loo so she would not be embarrassed by me pointing it out."

Another one from the Tuesday when Fran and I met for a rehearsal. I have not just accompanied Alex; I have given her piano and theory lessons as well. She knows me as Mr Softie and would trust me with any child.

Fran is a confident young lady and we became instant besties. I knew she was going for a violin lesson after our rehearsal so I suggested a wind-up. "Fran," I asked, "can you pretend to be really upset without actually being upset?"

"Yes" came the instant reply. I explained about me and Alex and said, "Go in to your violin lesson looking absolutely devastated and tell Alex that I had been horrible to you the entire time."

Fran grinned wickedly and replied, "Oh yes. Yes. I will."

"Just make sure you stop if Alex looks like bursting into tears, please."

"I will." Fran is not a cruel child.

She did indeed carry out the wind-up. Alex was devastated and massively concerned. Fran said she managed a couple of minutes before bursting into laughter.

Alex shouted at me for quite a long time about that. :lol:

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

It has been a quiet few weeks on the teen lunacy front, but thingies are starting to pick up.

You have met Lexie before, when I was preparing her for her for the aural tests section of her G2 guitar exam. She is back for prep for G3. Cute as ever and now sporting the teeth braces that are the inevitable accompaniment to early teenage years here in the UK. I always tell the kids the same thingy: it is hard to wear them; it hurts in the early stages; they will drive you nuts; you will benefit from them for years, I promise promise promise. I will not be the only one saying this to them, so I hope they believe me.

Lexie and I did our thingy. She had no problems so I said, "Let's go along to Sir and tell him how well you have done."

Half way there I stopped and said, "Let's do a wind up. Let's tell him you were utterly useless and that you have to find an alternative." "Yes please." We all love teasing Mr P.

So, we pitched up at his door. I hovered over the head of a petite little blond girl and announced mournfully, "Sorry Sir, but Lexie was useless. Clueless. She has to find an alternative test for the exam."

Mr P was concerned for about 5 seconds until he looked at Lexie, a standard issue 13 year old nutter entirely incapable of lying. The room exploded into laughter.

Lexie and I were really just passing time until the bell went for the end of school, so I explained this to Mr P who explained, "Me and Summer are doing the same."

Summer is a lovely little girl with long blond hair befitting her name so I said, "Summer is a beautiful name. It suits you." She beamed up at me.

Then Mr P looked across at Lexie and said, "Lexie suits you perfectly as well. Absolutely gorgeous." Lexie beamed back at both of us.

I am sure that there are better jobs than mine, but it is hard to imagine one.

It is school musical time, so more coming soon.

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

Some more episodes from this week.

Little Sweetie Sarah pitched up for her lesson on Tuesday, pulled out her sheets of music and asked, "What are we doing?"

"What we always do angel. You play me what we did last week and that you have practised over the weekend."

There followed a few seconds of hapless leafing through sheets of paper, so I supplied her with the title. She eventually found the sheet. I suspected that what was about to happen would not be good. :lol:

Sarah sat down at the piano, thought for a few seconds and then placed her hands on the keyboard. Full of doubt she asked, "Are my hands right?" Yep. Suspicion confirmed. :lol:

"Yes darling".

There followed a couple of ineffectual stabs at starting. The thingy I do at the start of each lesson is listen to the result of my victims' efforts for the week. Kids have told me in the past that this is far worse than me shouting at them for not making any; they say it makes them feel really bad when they cannot perform and I merely sit listening patiently.

So, not being a fan of torturing cute 11 year olds I said gently, "Poppet. You know that I will not shout at you because I have promised not to. I will not. Ever. I do not hand out detentions etc. That is not why I come here, so do not worry if the answer to my next question is, 'No' ". I left it a couple of seconds and then asked, "Have you looked at this piece since I taught it to you twice last week?"

LSS's mum works at the school and we have often met in the corridors. Mum has assured me that LSS loves her lessons and looks forward to them. LSS has clearly come to trust all of us in the department. Even so, she had an uncomfortable admission to make.

Mum should be proud of her little girl. LSS did not hesitate in her answer. Most kids would have tried to disseminate, obfuscate and make up excuses. LSS did not. "No Sir. Sorry." OK, so later in the discussion she did try, "The keyboard is in the outhouse." When I asked if this prevented her practising (in case it is a freezingly cold outhouse) she did reply, "Not really." I hope she meant it.

I explained the need to practise what I have taught her, and the target that Miss has set her for the end of term. No doubt this will come up in stories during the coming weeks.

For Tuesday, she was merely required to have worked on the material we covered last week - two short pieces. I said, "I am going to set you a little challenge angel, and you do not have to worry if you cannot meet it. You have more lessons with me on Thursday, so the challenge is that I want you to be able to play these two pieces fluently by then, so that we can move on."

So, come Thursday and LSS played perfectly, so bucket loads of praise and we moved on to the next level.

I retailed all this to mum when we met at the photocopier later. Mum explained that LSS was actually quite embarrassed to have played so badly on Tuesday and returned home determined to meet the challenge. She also brought up something that I was needing to - the inadequacy of LSS's keyboard at home. Mum said that they are looking to replace it with a piano, so I promised to send her some links to investigate. Makes a lovely change from Gracie's moronic mother and that bloody keyboard built in the early 1300's, or when ever the blasted thingy was constructed. :clap:

All this preceded Lexie and Lexie was succeeded by an after school rehearsal with the kiddies playing in 'the band' for the musical. This is the usual Motley Crew of Musical Reprobates plus a gorgeous little year 8, Lois, playing the violin. Lois' smile should be a NHS prescription for any ailment, ever.

Motley Crew were missing Billy. This was a huge cause for concern, because Billy never misses anything musical. Concerns were heightened when MC member Jeremy tried to call him on his mobile and there was no response. Billy walks home with friends when not engaged after normal school hours. When he is engaged, then grandma picks him up in her car and drives him home.

Mr P phoned Billy's granny, who confirmed that she was expecting to pick him up at the usual hour after school because Billy had a rehearsal.

Concern hit the stratosphere. Miss called Billy's mum at work. Mum confirmed that Billy had told her about the rehearsal and that gran was picking him up afterwards.

Forget concerns. We are talking panic stations now. Mum shot off to go looking for him in the car.

A few minutes passed whilst we tried to do some rehearsing. Not easy to do when our minds were full of the picture of a 14 year old boy tied up in the boot of some bastard's car.

Trying hard not to press the desperation button only about 30 minutes after a child isn't where he should be is one thing, but a group of people deeply fond of him was never going to be entirely rational. I reckon we were about 30 seconds from calling in the police, army, navy, air force, fire brigade, SAS, MI5, MI6 and US Navy Seals when Mr P's phone rang.

It was gran, explaining that she had found the miserable little toad at home, plugging in his flat-batteried phone into its charger. She had burst in on him demanding, "Where have you been? We have been frantic about you. You should have been at school."

It turned out that he had reverted to standard issue teen nutter for once, and had forgotten the rehearsal. His phone battery had gone flat during the day and so he could not answer our increasingly frantic attempts to contact him.

Said gran, "He is looking at me now, extremely embarrassed and sorry. He genuinely forgot. I don't think he will do this again."

So, just a rare example of a not-so-standard issue teen nutter reverting to type and becoming a standard issue teen nutter. We can forgive him for this, especially as it did not involve him being tied up in the boot of some bastard's car.

Phew.

Mind, it will be a long time before we let him forget this incident. You can safely bet the house on him not being allowed to forget another rehearsal. :lol:

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

I spent extra time in school today, helping little violinist Lois, working out what she can play.

Everybody is working off the same score, which is the vocal lines, piano part and occasional extra lines for solos on different instruments. The guitarists are fine as the score is fully annotated with guitar chords.

Nothing for 12 year old Lois, so we spent the time with a highlighter pen highlighting the parts of the score she can attempt to play - usually the top line of the right hand of the piano part. We also found the occasional line marked, "Violin" so she has some opportunities to show off instead of merely doubling something I am already doing.

My instructions to Lois are: play what you can; leave out anything difficult; do not worry about making mistakes because nobody will criticise you (not twice at least, should they do so within earshot of me); have fun.

It helps that Lois is one of those clever kids with a brain the size of Mars. Also, she has been playing for several years and is a member of a childrens' orchestra. She is familiar with a version of the environment she is entering.

I had taken a pack of highlighter pens with me and Lois had selected the orange pen. Highlighting lines of notes in a score is not necessarily the most attention-riveting of activities, so our conversation started to range as she became more confident of me.

At one point Lois came out with this: "We are driving a courtesy car at the moment as ours is in for a repair. It is all orange, and roughly the same shade as this highlighter pen."

"All orange?"

"Yes. Outside, seats, trim, everything."

My imagination boggled. "That is hideous. They cannot possibly sell it," I remarked.

"Yes," she agreed and then giggled. "That must be why it is a courtesy car."

"Hey," I said, "maybe you could get a free car out of all this. Ask the garage to give you the car simply to get rid of it."

Lois thought for a few seconds, then shuddered and replied, "No thanks." :lol:

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

Billy continues to impress me with his outrageous talent. Miss is a trained singer and has attended these after school rehearsals. Having her along has been a colossal boon as she has been able to supply vocal lines to show how voice and instruments mix.

Miss has the usual singer's 'flexible' relationship with the printed rhythm i.e. it is merely the basis for negotiation between her and the accompanists. :lol: Put bluntly, they do what they want and leave their accompanists to pick up the pieces. We become quite good at doing so.

This year I have what I have always wanted - a piano part to play that includes the vocal parts printed above. So, when Miss came in on an entry late, I merely waited for her. When she came in on an entry early, I merely skipped the relevant number of beats and caught up with her. This is nothing to me; it is what any competent accompanist does.

Much more impressive was the way that Billy cottoned on instantly to what had happened, heard the change in harmony and adjusted accordingly. His aural grasp of harmony outdoes mine by a million miles; I rely on seeing the score and so spotting the rhythmic inconsistency of the singer. Billy hears the harmonic difference and reacts accordingly.

So I followed the singer. Billy followed me. Equally impressive was the way the rest of the Mottley Crew followed Billy. It was never more than a few seconds before the accompanying harmonies settled down to where they needed to be. Wow. This is fantastic.

These are 13, 14 and 15 year old children, not experienced professional performers. There is some talent at this school.

Billy is also coming along well in the verbal abuse stakes. He, Charlie, Gabby and Amy are all year 10 pupils. It is Work Experience week where Y10's find work 'placements' and so have a brief experience of the world of adult work.

Billy had the sense to wangle his work placement with Mr P and so has visited a couple of other schools watching and helping. Charlie and Gabbie managed to wangle this week at school, under the auspices of Miss.

Mostly, Charlie and Gabbie have been helping out in class. Charlie had helped out in a class that included his younger brother - a Y7 class I think. One of the Y7 kiddies remarked on how much alike were Charlie and his brother. Then she looked at Miss and proclaimed, "And like you Miss. You could be their mum."

Miss mournfully told this tale during our rehearsal asking, "How could I possibly look old enough to be Charlie's mum?"

Mr P said, "This job ages you. Look at me. I look 90 yet am only 24." (Early 50's).

This is where Billy hit his straps. "Yes Sir, you only look 24."

<pause for effect> "24 decades."

That called for a high five. I was proud of him.

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

The five kids involved in the rehearsal yesterday were: Ruth on percussion: Lois on violin: Billy, Jeremy and Hugh on guitars.

I long ago established the principle of taking bags of sweets to these occasions, so I took in a bag of Maltesers and of chocolate Mini-eggs. Miss took a bag of some sort of gums and some fresh blueberries. Lois had brought some fresh pineapple, chopped into squares.

Watching the kids devour that little lot in just under an hour was awe inspiring. :lol:

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

We had the first of our two full day Sunday rehearsals for the musical yesterday. It was an affirmation of the decision to present the performances in the second term of the school year instead of the first. The kids have done so much rehearsal already that today went smoothly. By the end, were were at the same stage we have been in the past at the end of the second one. Not a mountain of torn-out hair or bucket of blood from slashed wrists in sight. :D

The show is Blood Brothers. This involves a baby, so one of the main props early on is a baby doll. This thing spent all its time off stage being cuddled by young teen girls having a wonderful time nursing a toy long after they would have stopped playing with dolls through embarrassment and the possibility of mockery by their peers. :lol:

I took in some bags of sweeties for the band. Miss bakes a wonderful lemon drizzle cake and makes brilliant macaroons and had brought wonderful examples of each. Others had brought stuff in for the kids. The amount of food consumed was massive - and that is not including their packed lunch.

About half way through, Lois leaped to her feet and went to her bag. She pulled out a huge bag of doughnuts and offered them around to all and sundry. I have a sweet tooth that I mostly deny but yesterday thought, "What the Hell?" and tucked in. This was a mistake and I was feeling slightly sick at one point. I am not going to eat anything sweet and sticky again, until this time next week.

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

Charlie's lesson time is fixed at 1.10 pm. He didn't turn up, so I merely continued with Little Sweetie Sarah, who was having a lesson before him.

Come 1.30 and I sent LSS away so she would not miss any of the class that was starting. "Boo" announced Charlie's arrival, 20 minutes late.

"You are late," I snarled, "but luckily I am free now so you can still have your lesson."

"I am not late," defended Charlie staunchly. "You wrote 1.30 in my music pass."

I was irritated. "Listen up dimwit. I could not have done. Your lesson time is fixed at 1.10. How many times do I have to tell you this?"

Charlie smiled that smile and handed me his lesson pass. Obviously I had written 1.30 instead of 1.10. I decided to put up a fight. "So the first time you take any notice of what I have written in your pass is when it is wrong? Which bit of your lesson time is fixed at 1.10 do you not get?"

Charlie ignored the question and asked, "Can I have another lesson later on, please? Do you have any free time?"

I did, at 2.50 - last session in the afternoon. I booked him in and said, "Don't worry if you are busy in a class and change your mind. I will know you are not coming if you do not turn up. I have to stay for a Blood Brothers rehearsal after school, so it makes no difference to the end of my day."

Charlie hates maths. He grinned and said, "My last lesson is mafs." " 'nough said," I replied.

"mafs" was not a mis-spelling. One of my many pet hates is the inability of so many people in the UK to pronounce the, "th" sound. They replace it with the painfully pitiful, "f" sound. For example: "something" becomes "somefing"; "thing" becomes "fing"; "maths" becomes "mafs" and so on. It makes them sound like morons.

Hey ho. Nothing I can do about it. Just having a rant. :lol:

Charlie turned up and so missed the last 20 minutes of mafs. I sympathise; I hated it as well.

Shortly after Charlie turned up, the head teacher stuck his head around the door - we were back in the Dungeon at this point. This particular, recently appointed head teacher gives me hope for performing arts at the school because he was once on the academic staff at Chethams in Manchester. Chethams is a school for musically gifted children that also has to cater for the wider academic welfare of its pupils. HT's 4 kids all have grade 8 in something, so he understands the importance of the arts in the life of a child.

We chatted briefly then HT looked at Charlie and said, "Sorry Ben. I am taking up you valuable lesson time."

How was I supposed to resist? "His name is Sam." "HT replied, "Sorry Sam" and left.

Charlie said plaintively, "You call me Sam. He calls me Ben. I could get a complex, you know."

Little Sweetie Sarah has two problems vis a vis the piano. 1: she is one of those seriously bright kids who like to park their brains in the corridor before having a piano lesson. 2: she is making no attempt to learn the rhythmic value of the notes.

Both of these faults lead to comical episodes and 2 came to the fore yesterday. I ask her at each lesson to identify the length of notes that I point to. LSS knows that nothing lasts longer than 4 beats, and so guesses. The principle here is that her correct guesses will eventually lead to knowledge; it works with all kids. Eventually.

She recently met quavers for the first time, so I pointed to a pair of them and asked how much each individual note lasts for. The successive guesses of 1, 2, 3, and 4 all received, "Nope" from me.

LSS tried, "5" so I growled, "Don't be silly. You know perfectly well that the maximum is four and that notes need tying together to last more than four."

Brain firmly parked in the corridor, LSS essayed doubtfully, "Do I?"

"Yes darling, you do. Now, are you really unable to make a HALF way decent attempt at the length of the note in question?"

LSS's face screwed up in concentration as she tried to remember where she had parked her brain.

Time for some mercy. "There was a clue in my last question."

Sarah thought for a few moments, located her brain and announced triumphantly, "Half a beat."

"Well done, poppet." :arrrg: :arrrg: :arrrg: :arrrg: :arrrg: :arrrg:

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
User avatar
SteveHopwood
Owner
Posts: 9754
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 am
Location: Misterton - an insignificant village in England. Very pleasant to live in.

Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

Post by SteveHopwood »

Some more from Thursday.

I was sat in 146 awaiting Sarah when some 6th formers pitched up to rehearse some drama. On seeing me, they asked if it was OK to continue, so I said that I was waiting for Sarah but would take her to The Dungeon for the lesson.

Ruth demanded, "Is that little Sarah? Y7? Cute as buttons and with ginger hair?"

I confirmed.

Ruth came back with, "She is lovely. She is sooooo cute. She will be soooooo pretty when she is my age."

Then this happened at the end of the day. We has finished yet another rehearsal for Blood Brothers and were sat in a state of post-day collapse in 146. Came this at the door:

Tap tap tap............tap tap

This was a new and slightly confusing experience for Mr P, Miss and me, so we stared at each other in bewilderment.

Tap tap tap............tap tap

Miss was the first to pull herself together. "Come in." she called. She is quick on her feet is Miss. The academy has netted a treasure.

The tiny scrap of incredibly precious humanity known as Sarah presented herself and asked, "Can I use the piano in the practise room, please?"

No demands. No expectations. Just simple human politeness. This child is a star.

:xm: :rocket:
Read the effing manual, ok?

Afterprime is the official SHF broker. Read about them at https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?p=175790#p175790.

I still suffer from OCCD. Good thing, really.

Anyone here feeling generous? My paypal account is always in the market for a tiny donation. [email protected] is the account.

To see The Weekly Roundup of stuff you guys might have missed Click here

My special thanks to Thomas (tomele) for all the incredible work he does here.
Locked

Return to “Lounge”