Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job

[SteveHopwood]

Update on Evalina.

This glorious child's talent turns out to be a typical adult misunderstanding of what she can actually play on the piano.

All pianists here know what I mean by, "Chopsticks." It is a meaningless piece of bollocks played by kids with no understanding of piano playing whatsoever.

I asked Evalina to play me her piano piece. It was Chopsticks - and she could not even get through to the end, so not even a hint of talent.

Hey ho. This will not stop me doing the best I can for her.

Take tonight. Evalina and Masie have formed an alliance of laughter. Evalina is a wonderful teen girl bonkers nut job. It is wonderful to see a child who could have been blown to bits by a Russian bomb, or raped tortured and murdered by the equivalent of a wild animal, instead laughing endlessly with one of the most beautiful kids I have ever met.

I did my usual and handed Masie a tissue. Masie pointed at Evalina and said, "She is worse then me. She might need a tissue more."

I thought about this for a few seconds then thought back to last week and the floods of laughter that was Evalina. I handed her a tissue.

Within minutes, Evalina was using her tissue to help mop up an in a heap Masie who said. "This must cost you a fortune in tissues to which I replied, "Angel, ten times the price would still be cheap." The resulting beam etc

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Miss 1 wants to photo all the kids who just took graded exams with their certificates for publication within the school. Along came Gwenny (G4 merit piano) with one of her glorious friend group Evie (no idea what).

The girls giggled their way through the whole process. I remarked after they had gone, "Giggling teen girls has to be the best sound in the world."

Miss 1 agreed. The world may be going to Hell in a handbasket but there is still hope whilst there are giggling teen girls - and good reasons to try to save out planet.

[SteveHopwood]

Back to Tegan (https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB ... 13#p175213)

She is a glorious young lady.

She now trusts me. Imagine how this makes me feel.

She similes at me. Every time we meet. Anywhere.

Imagine how this makes me feel. I worship this wonderful child.

[SteveHopwood]

I do not know how long ago it is that I told you about Gwenny acquiring her braces - it feels like a small ice age.

They have now been removed and she has a perfect smile.

Her cousin Jas, aged 13, now faces the same process. I told her today what I told Gwenny what feels like a loooooooonnnnnnng time ago, "Darling, braces are horrible but well worth while going through. I understand that they will hurt a bit at first but will settle down quite quickly. You can have them removed if the pain becomes unbearable; nobody wants to torture 13 year old girls."

Happily, Gwenny entered the room just at that point so I said to her, "Gwenny, smile at Jas." She did and variously misshapen toothed Jas got the point immediately.

I really, really hope that Jas does not have to suffer pain. I am sure you all join me in this.

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We did an, "Advanced musicians' " concert at school 1 a couple of weeks ago. In a bog-standard secondary school in the middle of nowhere, "Advanced" is a relative term. We are talking more in terms of age than performance here. Regardless of relativity, the kids played/sang their socks off. Gwenny plucked up the courage to take part and was thrilled by the usual audience reaction to her playing. Parents, friends and relatives do not muck around when encouraging their progeny on these occasions.

Gwenny went slightly wrong at one point. She picked up and continued without the slightest hesitation. Talking to her about this in her following lesson I said, "You handled that slip up just like I would have done. You were fantastic. I was sooooooooooooooooo proud of you. I bet you and I were the only people in the room that noticed. Miss does not know the piece and would not have noticed either."

Usual stuff. Subsequent Gwenny beam lighting up the National Grid for accouple of hours.

Later in the lesson Miss bounced in so I told her about the slip up and G's handling of it. Ever quick on the uptake, Miss claimed, "Nope. Missed it entirely. No idea that you had gone wrong."

We are still paying nothing for our electricity here in the UK.

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I noticed that the whole, "Advanced musicians'" gig was being recorded on video so I asked Miss if the same facility had been accorded to our performances of, "Matilda" the previous Feb. It turned out it had, so I obtained a copy of the file.

Oh wow.

I describe school 1 as a bog-standard secondary school in the middle of nowhere, What I mean is: there is little money in the town; we do not have a catchment of genius level kids; we do not have access to funds from outside that is granted to the school - we are pretty much on our own.

It turns out that what we do have is a population of wonderfully talented kids.

Musical by musical, I get to see some of the action on stage. Mostly I am busy playing and miss the action.

Watching the action as recorded live is a whole new experience. OK, so I expected Masie (Matilda), Georgi (Miss Trunchball) and Sho (Miss Honey) to be amazing but nothing prepared me for the sheer power of their perfomances. I made a point of telling them today; expect free electricity for a couple of months.

What blew me away was the acting of all the rest of the kids playing the part of the school children. They responded to what was happening in the story as though they really were there and suffering the grievances of Miss T.

Incredible.

You really should have my job folks. Just don't try to take it away from me.

[SteveHopwood]

A quickie about Tegan.

She now has all the notes learned for her performance pieces - so long as they last for the requisite minimum of four minutes. If not, I simply teach her another piece.

This glorious young lady has demonstrated both the ability and the willingness to learn. These qualities are not always present in kids sent to me for emergency help at what is pretty close to the last moment.

Having taught Tegan to play the notes, I started on the 'polishing' today that will earn her extra marks when she submits her recording. 'Polishing' means stuff like: play softer here; play louder here; go louder then softer here then the opposite there; slow down here; speed up there.

She soaked it up like a sponge soaks up water. I said to her, "Darling, I wish you had come to me five years ago. You would be brilliant."

We got a couple of hours of free electricity.

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Our next musical in school 1 is to be Shreck jnr - the junior version is because the complete version goes on for ever and is not suitable for kids able to master about 75 minutes of material performed to an audience sat on hideously uncomfortable chairs in a bog standard comprehensive school in the middle of nowhere.

Bog standard comprehensive school in the middle of nowhere we may be but lacking talent we are not. We held the auditions for parts yesterday.

Not familiar with the characters? Watch the film. Familiar with the characters from the film, then what I am about to write will make sense.

One part was nailed on without need for audition. Georgi,aka Miss Trunchball, for adult Fiona. Fantastic demented bonkers nut jub Masie (aka Matilda) auditioned but was nailed on for Donkey. The rest of the cast will have to work hard to stop her stealing the show; an abiding regret of mine is that you cannot all meet this stunning child.

From there, the talent and enthusiasm of the kids blew us on the auditioning team away. Out of about 50 kids there were perhaps 6 who simply could not sing. It turned out that even they could act and there are a lot of parts for non-singing speakers.

For those that could sing and act, Miss and Drama Teacher had the unenviable task of working out which of the 6 kids able to fulfil the part they were perfect for. I was happy to leave them to it.

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A side note germane to the auditions. We have a little girl in our senior choir, River. Petite. Cute. Shy. Y8, so second year at school. Wonderful voice.

River comes from what we describe as a 'rough' background. I do not know the details but can imagine them from what I know of life. She fell into a group of the kind of kids you would not want yours associating with - nothing really nasty or sexually exploitive etc - just not a nice crowd. She is in Miss 1's tutor group.

River appeared in our senior choir's rehearsal a few weeks ago. She was clearly unhappy. Miss took her out out at the end of the rehearsal. I queried Miss about this once everyone had gone home. Miss explained about the background but that River had, 'turned her life around', was cooperating in school and joining in activities such as the senior choir. Rough background, turning life around or not there is only one way into out senior choir - a glorious singing voice.

River had hated every second of the rehearsal but Miss had persuaded her to give us a second chance. I resolved to ask the Dingbats to take her under their wing and make her feel welcome. The Dingbats really are fantastic kids - I might have mentioned this before now?

Come the next senior choir practise and with the Dingbats suitably primed, River was missing. Miss explained to me privately afterwards that River had been badly beaten up by girls over the weekend and was off school. Heart breaking. She was probably beaten up by kids I would kill for, to protect.

One week on and a clearly recovering but still bruised River came to senior choir - think how bad her beating must have been, for it to still show two weeks later given how quickly 13 year olds heal from wounds. This still makes me cry. Before we started and whilst I had a chance to talk to her quietly and paraphrased because I do not remember my exact words, I knelt down in front of her and said, "Darling. What was done to you was monstrous but we are here for you. Here in the choir, we love and care for each other. Give us a chance to love and care for you."

I realised that I had missed out something huge so the following week I kneeled in front of her again and sain, "Angel. I promise I will not keep on bringing this up but I forgot to say something really important to you last week."

"What?" she asked before I could pause to take a breath.

"You are worth 100 times the girls who attacked you." River smiled back at me. I left it at that with the promise that, "I will not mention this again.". I have only been in a similar position once before and really did not know if I was helping.

On the plus side, River turned up to audition for Shreck. She was hopeless. She came in with a partner that she would not leave, faffed and cafaddled (invented word) around for ages but was finally persuaded to actually sing.

Beautifully. Trouble was, in Miss' paraphrased words, "How can I have someone on the cast that mucks around like she does?"

I can understand this. Thingy is, school is for the wider benefit of all of its students. I got a bit cross overnight. I need not have bothered. Thingy with a school musical is that the producers can adapt it to suite the school.

So, when I adopted my fiercest teddy-bear expression the following day and demanded of Miss, "You have to find a role for River," she replied complacently, "Yes, we will make her a leading member of the chorus."

Brilliant. I should have know better than t expect anything else. Shame on me. There are lots of tiny parts in this production performed by bit part players who then join the chorus and have a whale of a time.

The youngest Fiona is currently assigned to blind Kiera who opened up Matilda last year. Like last year, I will spend time making sure she knows how to open up should she need my help.

The music is crap. Can't wait to work with the kids.

[SteveHopwood]

Christmas hurtles towards us with the force of a guided missile. My loathing of this blasted time of year is only exceeded by my hatred and wish to kill, of anyone who treats a child with anything other than the utmost love, kindness and respect. I might have mentioned this before? We are not alone.

Miss 1 is assembling her 'orchestra' of random players of diverse instruments. Happily, this year I am not likely to be involved, directly.

This time last year, Julia needed shed load of help so she could take part - she was well pre taking her grade 1 piano. Gwenny was not even a consideration as I did not know how she would react to being a part of such an event and did not think she could learn the stuff in time.

A year on and thingies have changed.

Julia and Gwenny have moved on a pace. Gwenny's mum asked after the senior concert, if Gwenny could be more involved in the department as she loved her daughter's contribution. Like we were going to refuse.

On behalf of Miss 1, I offered G and J the chance to split the piano playing between them. They both leaped at the chance. Two carols each.

So do I have to take part in this blasted abortion of a so-called, "Carol concert"? Hopefully not. I loathe them.

Will I be willing to take a part if the girls need a helping hand?

Go on. Take a guess.

Fingers crossed for me folks.

[SteveHopwood]

Time for a bit of a catch up. I now teach 5 half+ days a week in two schools. You could never describe piano teaching as 'stressful' but the need to be endlessly wildly enthusiastic and encouraging is tiring and then there is the travel. I am often tired by the time I return home - aged 71 I no longer have the stamina I once had and so do not write as often as I did, so lots to tell you.

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A sad one next. Whilst my life is full of joy and happiness courtesy of the kids, it is not 100% so. Oscar came for his piano lesson. This normally full-of-life 13 year old is usually preceded by the grin that arrives just before he bounces into the room. He slouched in, clearly deeply upset. He said, "Sorry I am late Sir. I was not in school yesterday and so had not seen the timetable."

This was the first week back after half term. I had emailed the new timetable to parents but it is common for them not to catch up with them as they are usually sent with about a day to spare. I give the kids 5 minutes and the go to Reception to have them called for.

We have all experienced the scenario. Something has gone badly wrong in our lives but we are holding our act together, just. Then somebody offers a hint of sympathy/understanding and we break down.

I said, "Oscar, you are clearly unhappy. What is the matter?"

He sat down and sobbed uncontrollably. It was about 5 minutes before I could extract the reason for the tears. The reason he was not in school yesterday was, "It was the second anniversary of my mum going."

I asked gently, "By 'going', do you mean 'died''. "

"Yes."

I held him close for a few minutes, just to give him some time. Schools have staff tasked with helping kids in highly emotional situations. I told Oscar I would be back soon and went off to find the relevant one. The lady on Reception found the relevant staffer, who came to collect Oscar and take him to a place of safety away from the hubbub of normal school life.

Death and kids are happily not often found in the same experience but it does happen. It is tough on everyone concerned but imaging losing your mum at the age of 11. Perhaps best not to.

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Another poignant one. Evalina continues to flourish. She speaks English like a native and is one of the happiest kids we have ever met. The jury is still out on whether she or Masie makes us laugh more.

I met Sasha this week, for his first piano lesson. 14 years old and in year 9, Sasha is another escapee from Ukraine. He has been here for longer than Evalina and his English is nowhere near as good as hers but who cares? He is not being blown to bits by Russian missiles; that is all that counts.

I chatted about this to Miss 1 later as we tried to visualise the reality of what might have happened to these kids. Paraphrased, she said, "What amazes me is the resilience of these kids. Uprooted from their home, school, friends and father, then brought to a land where they do not even speak the language and yet they thrive. They are amazing."

We get a lot wrong here in the UK. Not all Ukrainian refugees are experiencing great times, I gather. At least we are doing right by Evalina and Sasha.

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Obviously my week was not all emotionally heavy going.

Take besties Julia and Lilly and our after school session last Thursday. There was the usual run of teen lunacy and appalling amounts of junk food consumed, Never mind the details why because they are not important, but Miss 1 was sat in the room working at her computer. She contributed joyfully to the junk food from time to time. She should be shot.

These kids are in Y10 i.e. one year away from their GCSE exams. The current Y11's are sitting a scary two weeks of 'mock' exams. Remember them folks, and shudder?

Lilly had grumbled about the week of 'tests' they were enduring so I offered, "Hey angel. The Y11's are currently doing a fortnight of 'mock' GCSE exams. This time next year, that will be you."

Miss chimed in with, "Awwe. It only seems like yesterday that you arrived at the school tiny."

These are two petite young ladies. They only just about manage to achieve my runt height but have no weight on them at all. I have more fat around my waist than is distributed around the whole of both their bodies.

I replied, "They are still tiny."

Miss came back with, "But they were Doe-eyed babies. So sweet and cute."

I looked at the miscreants I would kill attackers to protect and asked, "Are you still Doe-eyed babies?"

They gave me their best Doe-eyed baby look and replied with their usual cute, "Yes Sir".

Babies they are not any more. Wonderful, stunning, amazing young people the most assuredly are. I love them very much.

[SteveHopwood]

The laughs the kids bring to me are fantastic. There are occasional tender moments that I treasure equally.

Joey was having a bad day. I asked her, "Brain not working today?"

"No," she replied, "I have been hopeless all day."

I know the feeling.

Nothing was going right and she became frustrated with herself. It looked as though she was about to cry. I asked gently, "Darling, you look as though you are about to burst into floods of tears. You won't, will you?"

"No. I won't," came the reply.

Time for some emotional support so I came back with, "I am sure you know this but I will repeat it anyhow. You will never receive anything other than love, sympathy and support from me." Who could not offer this to a cute, music loving 14 year old?

Joey gave me her best lunch-hunting-tiger taming look and replied cutely, "I know."

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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Julia came for her lesson and played me her prepared piece beautifully, so it was time to pick a new one. I removed her sheet from the stand and placed it beside me. I played her a couple of pieces and she chose one to play, so I went off to make a copy.

I thought on my return, to give her back the original sheet so it would not be left behind. I hunted around, moved books and looked under other piles of stuff - music rooms can be untidy places - and gradually became aware of Julia grinning wickedly at me.

"Already taken it, haven't you?"

J's reply was pure class. "Yes. I knew you would look for it and not be able to find it, so I knew I could have a laugh."

"I love you too, sweetheart," I snarled.

She gave me the sweet smile of a kid who knows she is in the company of an adult who worships her and who she can twist around her little finger.

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The school has implemented a 'silent reading' policy this year. Students go to their tutor groups for the last 20 minutes of the day. Tutor reads to them from a novel. Kids have their own copies and are supposed to follow along with the tutor's reading.

This ridiculous, condescending, back-to-primary-school policy is bitterly resented by the kids. With the best will in the world, kids learning to play a musical instrument need a certain minimum level of intelligence. The kids I come into contact with lie somewhere on the scale of bright to brain the size of Jupiter. They pass the time in this ridiculous charade by surreptitiously reading ahead. They will also take every chance they get to escape it.

Julia's lesson finished just as this period was about to start. I looked up to find her giving me her best, "Please, please, please....." look. I knew what she wanted, so I forged her music pass to look as though she had a double lesson with me and she settled down happily to do some homework.

This final 20 minutes of the day is now the favourite time for kids taking piano lessons. Jas bounced in and announced gleefully, "I have just suffered the most boring science lesson ever. Thank goodness I do not have to go to silent reading as well."

I could have teased her about the implication of the last bit of that statement but decided not to. Later on though, was different.

Somehow the subject of boring teachers came up - don't remember how or why. Jas proclaimed, "You are the least boring of my teachers."

Now, I knew what she meant but this is me we are talking about here. How was I supposed to resist?

"So, I am boring. Just not as boring as most of the rest of your teachers?"

Julia was sat just a few yards away from us and had already joined in our conversations a few times. She burst into laughter. Jas looked confused for a few seconds and then recognised the implication lying behind what she had just said. A clearly panicked little girl gasped, "No, no, no, no, no. That's not what I meant."

I could have tortured her for a little longer but decided not to. I replied gently, "I know what you meant angel. I was teasing."

At least, I hope I know what she meant.

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The school is a Christian church school. It espouses the best tenets of tolerance, kindness, compassion and courage espoused by Christianity. I am not in the least bit religious but try to live my life by the first three of those tenets. As to the fourth - I am a wimp.

The ridiculous silent reading session is interrupted on Monday by an 'assembly' read out over the tannoy system. It usually lasts about 5 minutes and we just try to ignore it but cannot avoid the central message.

This is always something with a moral issue at its heart, related to a passage from the Bible. Today's central message was, "Face your fears and rely on God to help you."

At the end I told the girls, "I am absolutely terrified of heights. I cannot even watch them on TV. If we were walking alongside a drop and you were on the side of the drop, I would be pulling you in towards me just to make sure. I have not the slightest intention of facing that fear."

"My dad is the same," came back Jas.

Julia chimed in with, "I am terrified of insecty things with more than two legs. I was chased down my hall by a spider last week. I know spiders are supposed to be more scared of us than we of them, but this thing looked hungry. No chance of me facing that fear."

Jas joined in with, "Me too. Mind, I ate an ant last holiday."

"Yum," I replied but decided not to ask how or why. I like spiders so a wind-up came to me.

"When I get home, I am going on Amazon to........................" That was as far as I got. These glorious children know me well.

"Don't you DARE," shouted Jas.

"I will never speak to you again," exclaimed Julia.

Of course I promised not to.

[SteveHopwood]

Lovely news from Eva today when she announced that she was awarded her red Taekwondo belt last week - only one below the top black belt that confirms the holder as an expert in the sport.

Way to go, Eva

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One from yesterday that I forgot. You already know Lois and Gwenny very well. I am not sure if I introduced you to Evie.

Evie is a member of Gwenny and Lois' friendship group. Usual stuff: cute as can be; searingly bright; outrageously talented - guitar this time. One of those kids like Georgi, Masie and Faith that I do not teach but who bring warmth and happiness into my life whenever our paths cross.

I am not sure why but there was something in doubt about Evie being able to join the band for the upcoming musical. Not that it matters but I think it was something to do with her auditioning for a singing part.

Never mind. Rock band were setting up yesterday. Me, Miss and guitar teacher Mr G were all in 146 when Evie asked of Miss, "Can you make space for me in the band for Shreck?" Not sure what space had to do with all this and nor do I care.

I announced loudly, "You cannot refuse Evie. That is a ridiculous idea. Ludicrous. Monstrous."

Mr G came in with, "Of course not. Horrible idea."

Miss finished with, "Of course we will make space for you Evie."

We are still not paying for our electricity.

[SteveHopwood]

I have not seen much of Y11 Gwenny this past fortnight. Coming up to GCSE exams, they have been sitting the 'mock' exams designed to: show the good students that they are on the right path; scare the crap out of the lazy buggers heading rapidly towards disaster. Sometimes the latter works, sometimes not. There comes a time when teachers can only say, "I tried."

Gwenny's timetabled lesson was today so with one day still to go of mock exams, I did not expect to see her. She turned up.

She turned up with a huge round badge pinned to the lapel of her jacket with the legend, "It is my birthday today."

I yelled, "Gwenny. Happy birthday darling."

It is Gwenny's 16th. This is a special birthday in the UK. It becomes legal for kids to do stuff that us olds hope they will not get up to for at least another decade and that innocents like Gwenny will not even begin to contemplate for about another 5 years. For the innocents, it is simply a big moment.

I asked what her big pressie was. Gwenny replied, "A flying lesson. I want to be a pilot."

So, textiles out of the window but what is wrong with changing your mind in mid-teen years?

Gwenny continued, "I am looking forward to it but am nervous as well."

What I said was, "Darling, light aeroplanes are incredibly safe. Thousands and thousands of flights take place every year and rarely hear of crashes. When we do hear of a crash, the passengers walk away unscathed. You will be with a trained professional with umpteen hours of flying under the instructor's belt. You are in more danger crossing the road."

What my brain screamed was, "For crying out loud, stay on the ground. Staying on is what the ground is for. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase come back to me safe and sound on Monday."

Of course Gwenny will come back to me safe and sound on Monday, after having a glorious experience on Sunday. I know this. Won't stop a high sigh of relief on my part, when she does.

Plus, is that something of a birthday pressie or what?

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No idea how it came about but Bailey announced that she had memorised all the kings and queens of England from the 10th century onwards - and did so. I could not have corrected any wrongs but all accorded with what was dragged from the deepest recesses of my memory.

Then she announced that she could recite the first 10 places of pi. No idea if they were correct.

Thingy was, there were occasional hesitations as she demanded, "Wait," then thought for a couple of seconds before continuing. This suggested to me that she was not merely making stuff up as she went along.

Agog, I asked, "Why did you learn that stuff?"

Came the wonderful reply, "I have an ability to remember trivia. Ask me to remember something important and I am stuffed. For example, that line of music you taught me a few minutes ago, how does it go?"

Hey ho.

[SteveHopwood]

Gwenny came back safe and sound having had a wonderful time.

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I said to Lili earlier, "Wonderful to see you darling."

Lili's reply came with a level of sweet complacency that can only be exhibited by kids who know they are with someone who adores them. "I know."

I knew what she meant but it was a wonderful moment, so I burst into hoots of laughter.

Lili looked questioningly at me. The light dawned. Frantically she announced, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant....."

I gave her a hug and interrupted with, "I know poppet. I know what you meant. It was just soooooo funny the way you said it."

I am only too happy to be taken for granted by this glorious child.

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Jas has had her braces fitted - something that happens to most 13 year olds here in the UK. It is well worth while going through the process as it straightens their teeth but the fact is, it hurts at first. Just for a few days until the kids get used to them but still uncomfortable for a long time after that.

Worse still, the kids are not allowed sweets and chocolate. In fact, for the first couple of weeks the poor darlings' mouths are so sore that they live on soup and mashed potato.

Jas was bemoaning her fate so I said, "Tell you what angel. Once the braces come out, I will buy you the biggest box of Maltesers I can find."

Jas sniffed mournfully and muttered, "Gives me something to live for, I suppose."