That is a DOG
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| some fun .. https://www.stevehopwoodforex.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?t=249 |
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| Author: | joancb [ Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
That is a DOG |
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| Author: | SteveHopwood [ Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
Childbirth at 65 With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked. 'Not yet,' she said 'I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first.' Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?' 'No, not yet,' She said. After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?' 'No, not yet,' replied my friend. Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me. 'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?' 'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!' |
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| Author: | Gamma_gallus [ Mon Feb 13, 2012 11:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
Some pics .. http://hdwallpaperpics.com/wallpaper/pi ... colors.jpg http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ThBuAGHGt2o/T ... l_epic.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-23N3qQkTwZY/T ... res_23.jpg http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CMhkcRtCnUA/T ... -worry.jpg http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CMhkcRtCnUA/T ... -floor.jpg http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9 ... 8TRGQz-NFd http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_mmBw3uzPnJI/T ... ers_01.jpg http://bobbylacasse.e-monsite.com/media ... e_fail.jpg http://www.veryfunnypics.com/images/pic ... ls/ape.jpg |
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| Author: | SteveHopwood [ Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.. So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?' Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, And will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. 'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.' Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?' 'An arm and a leg.' Then Adam, always looking for a bargain asked, 'What can I get for a RIB Of course the rest is history..... .......!! !! |
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| Author: | Dixpat [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 2:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
Thoughts on growing old “Sixty is the worst age to be.” said the 60-year old man. “you always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out” “Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year old, “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out.” “Actually,” said the 80-year old, Eighty is the worst of all.” “Do you have trouble peeing ,too? Asked the 60 year old. “No, I pee every morning at 6.00 I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.” “So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?” “No, I have one every morning at 6.30.” Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, “You pee every morning at 6.00 and crap every morning at 6.30. So what’s so bad about being 80?” “I don’t wake up until 7.00.”  |
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| Author: | Gamma_gallus [ Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
- Must watch every morning http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzb57 ... o1_500.jpg - Huumm .. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8j3MKuUsN-U/T ... quotes.jpg - Absolute truth .. http://lh4.ggpht.com/_-A4vw5BwqxA/SmcC3 ... tstone.jpg - Trading may seem simple http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3Xw_Rn8iH5Q/S ... rading.jpg - Trader emotional cycles http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1WYmGdvNJmc/T ... -EngV1.jpg http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7TOFlJSKR0E/T ... Chart1.png - A T shirt ? http://maltahosting.net/acfx/relax-fore ... -cafepress - I prefer this one http://www.timothysykes.com/wp-content/ ... ng-pic.jpg to this one http://www.innerfx.com/media/2012/02/online_trader.png - what 90% of the traders finally do .. http://www.lolbrary.com/lolpics/671/sto ... b-6671.jpg |
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| Author: | joancb [ Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
XD http://www.explosm.net/comics/2720/ |
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| Author: | SteveHopwood [ Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society. "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society". After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?", asked the couple. "Because I'm the guy who painted the picture," he replied. "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch." |
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| Author: | joancb [ Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
Is it being brainwashed or what? http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com ... 1_1280.jpg |
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| Author: | SteveHopwood [ Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: some fun .. |
I don't actually believe these are real. They tickled me, even so.  ____________________________________________________________________________ These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No , I usually just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis , does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do.. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes , voodoo. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you kidding me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them ... The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral ... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law. |
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