Steve's Hour of Need

Post by **SteveHopwood** » Thu Dec 25, 2014 10:34 pm

25th December, 2014

Gals and galesses, I am going to plant this thought into your minds. It is a truism that this year has clobbered me over the head many times.

Here it is.

You do not truly know what you had until you lost it.

Give this some thought folks. Start with something really basic. Your computer - imagine the wreck your life would be if that blew up. Then your car......... Then your house........

Then, really tentatively expand out into your loved ones and stop the instant you begin to imagine individuals. You really, really do not want to go any further.

I have 'enjoyed' the dubious privilege of contemplating life without the love of my life. I have sat with her whilst she has been the recipient of more drips than I ever imagined that a human body could host. I could not see any way that she could possibly fight her way through and come home again. Somehow, she did.

I am lucky. The medics dragged her back somehow. I am lucky that our modern society here in the UK considered it worthwhile dragging her back. I am lucky that they had the resources to do so. I am lucky that our society continues to pour into my wife the resources that enable her to live the rest of her life at home with me.

I count my blessings every second that I still have with the Chris that should have died.

I have had the opportunity to view what I would have lost, had the worst happened.

So guys, I suggest you do a bit of an inventory. Identify and count your blessings; hang onto them for as long as you can. Trust me: you really, really will not know what you have until it disappears. You might not be as lucky as me.

bazze · Post by **bazze** » Thu Dec 25, 2014 11:45 pm

It's nice to see that you (really) have a heart of gold,Steve...And,it's true every word of it

HannesJoubert · Post by **HannesJoubert** » Fri Dec 26, 2014 7:42 am

Sage advice Steve...we should stop complaining, worrying and squabbling about the little things

All the best to you and Chris.

Hannes

Post by **SteveHopwood** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:01 am

Something lovely happened here yesterday.

Chris is right handed - at least she was until her right hand hooked into an immovable claw. As a hand, it was useless. Clench your hand tightly, imagine this is a permanent condition and work out how useless it is.

We have been working on it for months. These days, she can hold things with it. Say, a toothpaste tube so she can unscrew it with her left hand, then the toothbrush so she can dab toothpaste on it. Not a lot of fine motor work, but thousands of percent improvement on what she emerged from hospital with.

Yesterday, our Social Worker brought a form for us to sign - the nature of the form in unimportant. I have always signed these thingies in the recent past, as I am now my wife's official carer. Yesterday, she signed it for herself. Not a great signature, or a strong one, but a signature nevertheless.

All on her own.

Oh, and I have just discovered that I am still pregnant.

Post by **Jemook** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 1:47 am

Steveo - wishing you and Chris an amazing 2015, hope she has a speedy recovery and life is nothing but smiles for you guys.

darshanag · Post by **darshanag** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:33 am

Dear Steve, here's wishing you and Chris a fantastic 2015 filled with good health, wealth and happiness.

Hope she has a speedy recovery.

Darshana

Post by **Gertje** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 1:13 pm

SteveHopwood » Thu Dec 25, 2014 10:34 pm wrote:25th December, 2014

Gals and galesses, I am going to plant this thought into your minds. It is a truism that this year has clobbered me over the head many times.

Here it is.

You do not truly know what you had until you lost it.

Give this some thought folks. Start with something really basic. Your computer - imagine the wreck your life would be if that blew up. Then your car......... Then your house........

Then, really tentatively expand out into your loved ones and stop the instant you begin to imagine individuals. You really, really do not want to go any further.

So guys, I suggest you do a bit of an inventory. Identify and count your blessings; hang onto them for as long as you can. Trust me: you really, really will not know what you have until it disappears. You might not be as lucky as me.

So true.

7 years ago I lost both my mother and my wife (mother of our then 6-month old son) in the same weekend due to cancer.
The only thing that kept me going was my responsability of the little boy.

Live has never been the same since....
.

jlcgarcia · Post by **jlcgarcia** » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:07 am

Gertje » Sat Jan 03, 2015 3:13 pm wrote:
So true.

7 years ago I lost both my mother and my wife (mother of our then 6-month old son) in the same weekend due to cancer.
The only thing that kept me going was my responsability of the little boy.

Live has never been the same since....
.

Hi Gertje,

I am very regretful reading your words, and I desire the best for you and your boy. Those people that do not have any ill relatives must be always happy.

But my intention here is to ask for a monetary contribution to the account of SH. As you know there are some people here helping and programming EAs; but the star is SH for two things: first, for opening this forum and second for contributing with his EAs.

Please, if you are grateful for my EAs or my help, contribute to SH account.

Regards

José Luis

HannesJoubert · Post by **HannesJoubert** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:59 pm

Hi Steve, just wanted to drop a line to find out how it is going with Chris? Everything okay?

Cheers

H

Post by **SteveHopwood** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 10:07 pm

HannesJoubert » Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:59 pm wrote:Hi Steve, just wanted to drop a line to find out how it is going with Chris? Everything okay?

Cheers

H

Things are going fabulously, thanks. Sorry guys, should have updated you before now.

Chris' rate of improvement increased dramatically once she came home. Surrounded by love and familiar surroundings and entertained constantly by our three moggies, she is having a wonderful time.

There was a time when her right hand was just a useless claw with the fingers pulled in so tight they were impossible to move at all. Yesterday she used it to help herself eat her evening meal.

We are lucky where we live in that the area has its own specialist MS nurse. We are doubly lucky that said MS nurse is a total star. She and the physio are going to see if they can support Chris in standing upright soon - and this is the lady whose legs were so spastic only a few months ago that the only way of avoiding bed sores was to have her turned by nurses every two hours.

Should Chris be able to stand upright with help, then suddenly all sorts of new mobility aids become possible and a whole new quality of live hoves onto the horizon. We shall see.

Chris is starting to leave some of her terrifying drugs routine behind. She dropped the pain killing patches Fentanyl a long time ago - this was the equivalent to wearing a toxic waste dump on your chest, so strong were they. She completes the process of coming off anti-depressants this week - they were prescribed whilst she was at her worst and clearly depressed by the whole lousy buisiness.

Chris has a team of two 'carers' who come four times a day to see to her most intimate personal needs, and to alternate stays in bed with sitting in her armchair - this moving is effectively heavy lifting that is beyond the strength of a normal single human being to do repeatedly except in the most dire of circumstances. They also relieve me of some of the domestic chores pressure on the grounds that me 'going down' under the strain of looking after Chris would merely result in her being back in hospital.

So, the transformation in our lives in just a few short weeks is nothing less than fantastic. We are doing well.