some fun ..

[Gamma_gallus]

bon apetit :
http://www.ongein.nl/video-smakelijk-eten--15555.aspx

[MichaelM]

Don't know if any of these are real but they had me in tears

The 15 Funniest Autocorrects from November 2011:
http://likeandshare.blogspot.com.au/201 ... ember.html

[MichaelM]

http://damnyouautocorrect.com
http://fyouautocorrect.com
http://crazythingsparentstext.com

[cadolino]

oh, man...Michael, that's brutal!...i'm ill and "laughing tears"...
thanks!...

[SteveHopwood]

CHEWING
GUM!



An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter
and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.



The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.



The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole
bread?'



The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.'



The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. ?The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia .'



The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.



The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the
Australian replied, 'of course.'



Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the
States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds
and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and
sell it to Australia ..

The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?'



The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'



'We throw them away, of course!'



Now it was the Australians turn to smile.



'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States . Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'?

[SteveHopwood]

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs,

A slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit

Juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,"

He says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something. "How about a bowl of soup,

Homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "Its really spoiled my need for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib

eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie?

Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm bloody starving."

[SteveHopwood]

SUBJECT: IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC?
................................... ................................... ......................

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

................................... ................................... .........................

Here is the "Bonus Question" on the chemistry exam:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

................................... ................................... ...............

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
................................... ................................... ...................
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

[joancb]

CHEWING
GUM!



'We don't. In Australia , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States . Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'?

I am not Aus nor Am but I LOL'd anyway

[SteveHopwood]

What follows is an email sent to me. I would have given the candidate an 'A'.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This Student obtained 0% on an exam, even though his answers were technically or literally correct!

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

[cadolino]

Putzwut = ~cleaning rage

http://www.ongein.nl/video-ontvlooien-15762.aspx