Steve's Hour of Need

Post by **hiredwhip** » Mon May 19, 2014 12:25 pm

Steve, I am ecstatic to read your last post on your wife's condition.....eating well is a great sign.....Continued good luck and success with her treatment and care.....

Whip

LarsFx · Post by **LarsFx** » Fri May 23, 2014 1:04 pm

Not posting a lot here since i´m still newbie and can´t add much value till now... But when i read a post like this i have to leave the cave and say that i really appreciate what you´ve done with this board and from the bottom of my heart, i´m wishing you and your wife only the best and i hope she will get as good as it gets!

koobala · Post by **koobala** » Mon May 26, 2014 12:21 pm

Hi Steve, you dont know me but my prayers are with you and your wife!

Post by **SteveHopwood** » Fri May 30, 2014 10:17 pm

Thanks again guys for so many messages of support. I am deeply grateful and touched.

Chris is tunneling out of hospital tomorrow. She cannot come home immediately. Her care needs when she does so have been identified, and funding agreed. The problem is that we live at the extreme end of our Local Authority (those of you outside the UK imagine any decent sized administrative area is a LA) and it is hard to find an agency to provide the level of care that Chris needs to live decently at home, and to support me so I do not end up in hospital as a result of caring for her. Our hospital social worker might be able to put the care plan in place quickly and Chris might be home quickly, or it might take several weeks. It will take the time it takes.

So, she is moving into what here is called, "Interim Care". This is a residential nursing home where some staff are qualified as nurses and so can do the things that hospital nurses can do. Chris will receive physio etc just as she would on the ward.

The nursing home is half way between the hospital and home, so she will be half way home.

Crucially, she will be out of the infection-laden atmosphere that is a hospital. For anyone in the UK within hailing distance of Bassetlaw hospital, plead to be taken there should you need hospital treatment. You would not believe the lengths the staff go to avoid the danger of cross-infection. Chris was just plain unlucky; well, maybe not but she was very ill when first admitted - we are talking organ shut down and hours from death. Also, the food is magnificent and has played a big part in Chris's recovery so far.

Chris has an unconfirmed diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. This disease is a bugger to fully diagnose, hence it being unconfirmed. The medics are still running tests to rule out other possible causes of her problems, but they talk in terms of, "assumed MS".

So, I am not sure how much her condition with two demic legs and a demic right arm will improve. She has limited functionality of her left arm - she can feed herself with a fork/spoon, turn the pages of a book - light duties such as those. Pressing the buttons on a remote control is difficult. Her cognition is fine - she fully understands everything she is told. Her short-term memory is improving from where it was a few weeks ago, when understanding everything she was told was one thing, but remembering it 5 minutes later was a bugger. Now, she is remembering events from the previous day, not just a few minutes ago.

I have no idea how much time Chris and I have together; I suspect this time is measured in years rather than decades. I think our original plan to enter the same care home aged 90 and expire within minutes of each other aged 95 is not going to happen. At least she is coming home eventually.

Guys, learn from my experience. Take some time out to count your blessings and try to remember this one unbreakable, unshakable truth: unless you have seriously considered it and are prepared, you will not appreciate what you have until you lose it.

Chris ain't home yet, but she is half way here.

Post by **fxozgirl** » Sat May 31, 2014 12:06 am

Steve, I am so pleased to feel there is much more positivity in you at this stage instead of the grim despair from a few weeks/months ago.
Clearly nothing will be the same again, but the fact that Chris is about to embark on the first step of coming home you both have come a long way.
I'm sure there will be many more challenges ahead but hopefully together you can overcome them at least to a point where you will be able to be together and enjoy each other for as long as possible.

Just remember that you have my best wishes and the collective prayers, thoughts & good wishes coming to you both from all corners of the globe.

Take care

Shelley

HannesJoubert · Post by **HannesJoubert** » Sat May 31, 2014 8:04 pm

"Strongs" to you Steve, I hope the journey home is a short one. Glad to hear that things are looking up...

Respect for standing by your Lady...

H

Post by **SteveHopwood** » Sat May 31, 2014 10:38 pm

Chris's tunneling out attempt was successful today and she is installed in the nursing home.

The atmosphere is completely different from that of the hospital. She is housed in a peaceful wing of the building and is in a bed looking out of a large window onto a lovely garden. The staff are more attentive than was possible on a busy hospital ward. I am content that she will be looked after well.

Our son Paul and his partner Rhea visited today and will do so tomorrow as well. They live 240 miles away and Rhea is pregnant, so visits are rare. It was a tonic to see them both. We wandered to a supermarket in a nearby town so Paul and Rhea could buy Chris a tv for her room. Heavens be praised, she can operate the remote control.

So, today is the best day I have enjoyed for several months. It is all the sweeter that it is Paul's birthday today. No parents could wish for a better son - for sure they would not have a better one.

Post by **wolfeman** » Sat May 31, 2014 11:25 pm

It's so good to read this post Steve. It brought a smile to my face, so I can imagine how you be feeling.

May peace and smiles fill your's and Chris's life!

reddragon · Post by **reddragon** » Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:04 pm

Steve,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, take each day as it comes and stay strong.

Take care,

Karl

Post by **astral77** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:18 pm

Hi

I just came across this thread and feel like an idiot because it took me such a long time to discover it!!! Have been very busy recently and have not been visiting the forum that often. I was aware that Chris was in a critical condition through exchange of pms. However, I thought she had come home and just now discovered that unfortunately that has not happened.

Over the last 5 to 6 years a bond of friendship has developed between a few of us and as a result we do share the joys and pains of each other. We are in different parts of the world, different ages, races, ethnic, social, economic and religious backgrounds and in the traditional society our paths would not have crossed. Yet we are FRIENDS and we are here for each other.

Steve, Please do let us know how is Chris and do let us know how you are coping with this gigantic upheaval in your life. Have you managed to get back to your old routine of teaching and recitals? I know things have changed drastically and will not be the same as before this calamity. But your worst enemy at this point in time is depression. Please do let us know, how we can help.

Kind regards