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Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
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Author:  SteveHopwood [ Sat Jul 25, 2015 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
That was a very pleasant trip down memory lane, copying posts I made in a music forum between 2007 and 2009. I still teach one of them, a young lady studying for a diploma. The rest are happy memories.

Anything I post from here on in is more recent. Continue to enjoy.

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Author:  SteveHopwood [ Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
Molly came for a lesson this afternoon.

Molly is an absolute sweetie. 14 years old. Tiny. Peers trustingly at you through large glasses. Your immediate instinct is to feed her. No, she is not abused or disadvantaged. Just tiny and cute. You want to feed her, ok? :lol:

I met her at lower school choir a couple of years ago and it was clear from her descriptions of her piano lessons that they left a lot to be desired, but nothing I could do.

Until I heard that she had signed up for year 10 GCSE music. GCSE music students at the school have free instrumental lessons, so I was in there like a bullet out of a gun. Yes, she was still year 9 but I had a free spot, so the school were only too happy to allot it to Molly.

Yes, Molly is cute. Yes she is sweet. Yes she deserves all the help that can be thrown at her. Advanced as a pianist she is not. Which led me to offer free lessons over the summer, which Molly and Mum gratefully accepted.

And which have happened. I am preparing or one of my increasingly rare solo gigs, and so offered to play something to them at the end of Molly's lesson today. Offered the alternatives: slow and dreamy; tinkly; something with oomph, Molly opted for oomph.

So I played her the finale from Beethoven's E major piano sonata, Op 14 no 1. Now, in terms of oomph, this does not have a lot going for it. When Beethoven composed this work, the great piano thrashers had yet to be born. Brahms, Liszt, Chopin, Rachmaninov, Schumann et al were nothing other than a twinkle in their parents', and sometimes grandparents', eyes. I have played stuff by these guys that make Op 14 no 1 look like a child's piece.

To a 14 year old Molly, for whom a piece with 8 lines of music covering a very generous two pages is a challenge, what she experienced was something again. I remember the same feelings at her age, albeit at a tad higher standard.

She was silent for a few seconds when I finished. Then she looked at me and asked plaintively, "How?"

I could not have coped with the realistic answer at her age: "Between two and six hours a day practise for about 50 years" so I gave her a more acceptable one. "Lots of practise sweetheart."

And was perfectly happy to be diverted by me crashing the Roses. Wonderful thingies, kids.

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Author:  SteveHopwood [ Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
I followed two little girls down the stars at the end of school yesterday. Here is the bried conversation I overheard.

Little girl no 1: "Home is where the heart is."

Little girl no 2: "My heart is leading me towards the fridge."

:xm:
Author:  SteveHopwood [ Sat Nov 07, 2015 10:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
It is graded exam time here in the UK.

We have a system of graded instrumental and vocal exams intended to encourage amateur musicians to progress via a series of recognisable steps, graded 1 to 8.

Woodwind teacher Angie whose candidates I accompany, has a substantial cohort this time around, and they are starting to pitch up for pre-exam rehearsals.

Today, The Twins turned up. Identical twins. Mum, dad and various other siblings/relatives can tell them apart. The rest of us are helpless.

The girls are absolutely gorgeous. Aged 14 now, and soon to be 15, I first met them at the age of 7. It was love at first sight. These kids play just about every woodwind instrument it is possible to find, so none of the three graded exam sessions each year passes by without them appearing.

I adore teenagers. One of my oft repeated statements away from shf is this: if more people spent more time with happy teens, the world would be an infinitely happier place.

Wonderful though they still are, aged 7 when I first met them, they were impossibly cute. First time around, they both played flute and recorder for their grade 1. At the end of the final appearance of Twin no 2, I leant across to a clearly entranced examiner and asked sotto voce, "Do you think it is possible to die of an overdose of cute?" "I am close to it" she replied.

........................................................................................................

Writing about this pair of identical twins reminds me of an earlier pair, the only pair I have taught the piano. These were two of the first kids I taught in their own home, so they introduced me to the pleasure of teaching kids totally relaxed in their own surroundings. I prefer it these days, but I digress.

Again, impossible to tell the girls apart unless you really knew them well. Again utterly gorgeous - but when are kids not thus? We all met up in the piano room and chatted about the girls' passion for dance and how they wanted piano lessons to enhance their musical understanding et al. This was all about 10 years ago and they moved away from the area a couple of years later, so I hope they achieved their ambitions but have no idea whether they did so.

"One tip for you" offered mum to me at one point in our discussion. "Avoid close eye contact until you get to know the girls better." She went on to explain that I would experience the weirdest sensation of being sucked towards them because their eyes had that effect on people.

Those of you familiar with my Maltesers story knew what I instantly did next. I gazed into the eyes of the twin sitting immediately opposite me.

And felt myself being pulled towards those eyes. It was the oddest sensation. I was drawn towards them. I found when I broke contact that I had leaned forward in my seat.

"See what I mean?" asked mum, cheerily.

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Author:  SteveHopwood [ Mon Nov 09, 2015 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
A lovely story about a little girl in school today, during a piano lesson. Starting with me:

"Let's play the 'we say the opposite of what we actually mean game'."

And explained it. She was up for it big time.

A few minutes later, she did something good. "Absolute rubbish horrible person." I intoned. "You have the ability of a mentally-challenged Gerbil."

Then I said to her, "Hey sweetheart. How quickly do you think I would have been fired had our Head Teacher walked in just as I was saying that last sentence?"

She giggled, then said in a loud, head-teachery sort of voice, "Mr Hopwood, you are FIRED."

And then added, "That would have been soooo funny."

Only one possible reply. "Thank you sweetheart. I love you too." :lol: :lol:
Author:  SteveHopwood [ Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:02 am ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
What follows is a pm I just sent to Tommaso. Here in the UK, we have a graded exam system that gives amateur musicians a progression map, from Grade 1 through to Grade 8. Grade 1 candidates pass so long as they can hold their instruments and make sounds at approximately the correct pitch in approximately the correct rhythm. Very approximately. A grade 8 woodwind candidate will have for example, a Vivaldi concerto movement to play, along with a sonata movement and a 'study' - a piece designed to improve the player's technique.
I had a lovely afternoon in school. I had the Lower School exam candidates together as a group, to practise the Ritual Humiliation that is the Aural section.

This ludicrous activity purports to test the candidate's ability to 'listen' - never mind that playing a non-keyboard/fixed pitch percussion instrument demands just that ability as a precursor to making any sort of musical sound. It is bollocks. It actually tests the candidates' short term memory and ability to pitch a note with their voice - 'clap this rhythm back to me', or 'sing this tune back to me' kind of thingy.

I could not do that stuff back when I was called upon to do it. I would not do it much better now.

I can give a half-way decent (and I am using Masterly British Understatement here) rendering of a bloody great Romantic piano concerto. Or a sympathetic rendering of a Mozart sonata. Or accompany a recorder player with masterly control of soft playing. At least, people tell me I can. Odd though this sounds to the Examining boards that insist on this rubbish, nobody has ever demanded that my recitals include singing melodies back from memory.

So the Aural section tends to be a bit of a nightmare for kids who never open their mouths to sing anything that is not the latest pop song on their iphones.

Unless they do it in a group. Kids are naturally happy individuals. You have to work hard to make a child miserable.

So, get them together in a group with a common purpose and laughter is guaranteed. Today there were two purposes: vocally rubbish the Aural section; take away the pain of trying the tests by doing so as a group, with all the protection that doing so affords.

Two of them are really close friends. It is wonderful to watch really close childhood friends together. They can read each others minds. They will say identical things at exactly the same moment, without any delay in delivery. One will finish the sentence began by the other.

13/14 year olds Laura and Jane are just such a pair. They even gave the wrong answers in unison. Amazing to watch and sooooooooo funny.

The group covered a variety of grades. The more advanced loved showing the less advanced what to do. The less advanced loved trying their best to do the more advanced stuff.

Laura and Jane are taking grade 4 flute, and mentioned that they were not looking forward to the Aural tests in the higher grades. One of the G8 tests is utterly ludicrous: the candidate sight sings a lower line whilst the examiner plays an upper line on the piano.

I described this to the girls, who responded in unison, "That's it. I am stopping at grade 7." :lol:

Wonderful thingies, kids.
Author:  SteveHopwood [ Tue Nov 17, 2015 10:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
Another rehearsal today, with the kids at Lower School for the woodwind exams next week.

Playing with Laura, I missed playing a chord that she relies upon to know where to make an entry, so we ground to a halt. I explained that I had looked at the chord, knew I should play it, but didn't. No reason, just didn't.

"I often do that" she replied.

"I am 64 sweetheart. They are called 'senior moments' when I do something like that. You are 13, so what is your excuse?"

With not the slightest hint of hesitation came the reply, "I am blonde." :lol: :lol: :lol:

:xm:
Author:  SteveHopwood [ Sat Nov 21, 2015 5:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
The Folder has gained new life and morphed into something for SHF members to use as a defence against me in a bad mood.

Here is a pm I received earlier from Ludo, that has had me chuckling all day.

"Hi Steve,
I hope all is well for you and your family. I am a regular reader of the "Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job" topic. It brought me to the idea of creating a defence to a possible flaming for questions like:" What should I put in the 'difference from GMT'-type of questions. Or,:"does this indicator repaints?" Or statements like, "Here are my optimised backtest results.".

The solution: see attached.

Cheers,
Ludo"
ff.jpg
Author:  SteveHopwood [ Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
Back with the Lower School kids for one final blast before the exams on Wednesday. This consisted of all of them playing their pieces to the rest of the group, followed by one last group Aural practise session.

The kids clearly enjoy the group Aural practise. This section always finished with a short piece of music - a couple of lines - about which they have to answer questions. "Describe the dynamics." "Was the piece in a major or minor key?" that sort of thingy.

Laura and Jane's grade includes describing the 'character' of the piece. Is it happy? Playful? March-like? Suicidally depressed? That sort of thingy.

The girls long ago decided that 'the' character should be replaced by 'a' character, who began life as a little Russian man. No idea why.

I had recently taught a piece of piano music to a little girl unconnected with all this, apart from the 'speaking in opposites' story, called 'Russian Song'. I had made this child a photocopy that cut off the far left of the page, leaving us with an 'ussian Song'.

Inevitably, our Little Russian Man morphed into our Little Ussian Man.

Little Ussian Man has enjoyed a variety of adventures in the last couple of weeks. He has been to a dance. He has hidden under tables during an attack by irritated extra-terrestrials. He has married a frog.

Today's piece was distinctly upbeat. Never mind who said what, just enjoy the exchange that followed.

"Our Little Ussian Man has just crossed a river."

"With his donkey."

"Well, obviously with his donkey. And his child. They are going to a party with his wife."

"You can't cross a river with both a donkey and a child. You would sink."

"He could ride on the donkey who swam across the river, whilst the Little Ussian Man had his child on his shoulders."

"What if the donkey could not swim?"

"The child could teach him. All kids can swim." <nods of agreement. All children in this school learn to swim, and children naturally assume that what they experience is the norm>

"What if this donkey turns out not to be a good swimmer?"

<a few seconds silence for contemplation>

"Our Little Ussian Man is a bridge builder."

Only so much a weak and feeble man can stand. I sent them away.

:xm:
Author:  SteveHopwood [ Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Thingies that happen to Steve in his other job
First round of actual exams today - the 'private' candidates entered by the woodwind teacher. The lower school lot are playing tomorrow, so I anticipate a few tales of lost books, bent instruments and general mayhem. Let's just hope not, ok, because it will be left down to me to pick up the pieces. And I really am not sure about the correct procedure for straightening out a bent flute. :lol:

The Twins (of could die of an overdose of cute fame) played out of their skins. One on flute, the other on sax. The judges face was a picture of contentment. Actually, it was all day. I have spent vast amount of time rehearsing with these kids over recent weeks, so I know why.

Of course, it helped everyone that The Judge and I go back a fair few years, and so I happen to know that he is the kindest man those kids will ever meet. If they ever manage to meet a kinder one, then they will have led a remarkable life.

Thingy is, it is strange how an atmosphere can continue to exist in the absence of people to carry it on. I have seen this time and again. The practice room empties as the next candidate enters the den. There should be nothing left in the practice room. Yet somehow, the 'vibe' left behind by the previous candidate hangs around and is felt by the next one.

So, each new candidate walked into a wall of positive, happy vibes - and added to them.

Lovely. Especially in a world where dreadful things are happening at the moment.

I had a few more stories to tell tonight but I have suddenly run out of steam. Accompanying young people in this sort of event is high-octane stuff - they might do absolutely anything that is not on the score and rely upon me to sort out the resulting mess. Nothing went wrong today but the trip wire was ever present. More in the next few days instead.

In the meantime, enjoy the fact that remarkable young people did exceptional thingies today.

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