Tuesday:
Some lovely stuff from school today. I arrived and went in search of Jeremy for some Aural test practise. He was in room 146 along with the rest of the Motley Crew of Musical Reprobates. Wonderful, fantastic, brilliant school music teacher was sat at her desk doing stuff on the computer, so I wandered over to say hello. School music teacher will henceforth be knows as, “Miss”. It is what the kids call her and makes typing easier for me.
"Wonderful news," she enthused, "Our last day of term INSET training day has been cancelled."
"INSET" stands for, "In Service Training" and takes place on a day when the kids are not in school. Teachers of a certain age in the UK will remember them as, "Baker days". Not to worry if you do not understand. Suffice to say that. back in the early 1980's, the then Secretary of State for Education persuaded the teachers' unions to sacrifice 6 days of their annual leave for a pittance, and they have suffered for it ever since.
I endured some whilst teaching in a 6th form college back in the early 90's. They are uniformly bollocks, so the news that the upcoming one has been cancelled will have been greeted with joy by every staffer at the school.
"We still have to do some work, but can do it on our computers at home. I shall do mine whilst still wearing my pyjamas" announced Miss with a sigh of pleasure.
There were some members of the MC sat just opposite and within easy hearing range. One of them asked, "How will they <i.e. school management> know that you have been working, Miss?"
"They will check my computer files," came the reply. I could not resist a tease, so I said to the MC member, "You do realise that senior management know every move that everyone in the school makes, don't you? Their eyes are everywhere."
MC member asked doubtfully, "What, even us pupils?"
"Yes," I replied, "Their eyes are everywhere."
I could see this child thinking, "Why am I not in detention all the time for all the mischief I get up to?" so I said, "I know what you are thinking. The reason you are not permanently in detention is that you get up to harmless mischief. You are not a bad child. Just make sure it stays that way, or you are in trouble."
The boy in question looked highly doubtful but decided that the, "Let sleeping dogs lie" proverb was a good one to observe and retired back into conversation with his pals.
I took Jeremy off to 149, only to find it full of a younger Motley Crew, including Amy sat at the piano. There was a teensy little Tambourine-like instrument on the table next to her and she would reach across occasionally and tap it with a stick.
Suddenly she reached across and gave the drum a thwack that would have risked damage to a Timpani. Miss had changed rooms to prepare for her next lesson and so witnessed the thwack, and intervened immediately. “Stop doing that Amy. You will damage it, your parents will have to pay for a replacement and you will be in detention for a long time.”
“Sorry Miss.”
Bestie Gabby chimed in with, “Give her a detention Miss. Please. Please. Go on. Please.”
“Shut up, slave”.
Jeremy and I went to The Dungeon for his aural practise. He will get full marks in the exam. Next victim was Evie and we could go into 146 as it had emptied after the bell called kids to their next class. On the table next to Evie was an identical teensy Tambourine that Amy had been walloping. The first thing Evie did was pick it up and start tapping. How is a child supposed to resist, after all? Tambourines and their tiny offshoots are made for tapping.
I had been arranging the practise book on the piano stand through this, so when I looked up Evie hurriedly replaced it on the table. “It's OK angel,” I said, “Pick it up and tap randomly on it as much as you want. There has to be some compensation for cruelly being made to practise Aural tests.”
The first test involves the candidate listening to a few seconds of a tune twice, then clapping in time to it when played a third time. Evie tapped the Tambourine instead, clearly enjoying herself.
I said to her as we were finishing the session later on, “You should ask Miss if you can borrow it for the exam.”
“Do you think the examiner would mind?”
“Nope. He would simply sigh inwardly and resign himself to dealing with yet another standard issue teen nutter.” She won't of course. This is the little girl who could not even bring herself to wind up the guitar teacher she trusts absolutely, so no chance with a total stranger.
I was teaching Charlie later on. Kids had wandered in and out to pick up and replace Ukuleles. A group of four came towards the end of their music class, one of whom was Gracie.
“Felicitations” came from her.
“Greetings, dearest child.”
Gracie was looking chuffed with herself. Her class had been doing some performance assessments and she announced proudly, “I have just been given a 9 in my assessment, playing the piano.” GCSE grades go from 1 to 9, with 9 being the highest.
Time for some praise. “Fantastic darling. Well done. I am proud of you.” <Brief pause> “Still don't like you, though.”
“I would not expect you to,” she replied.
This little group were all Y8 kids i.e. 12-13 years old. One of them, a very small boy, decided to join in the fun. He turned to me and asked, “Do you like me?”
“Of course I do. How could I not?”
Not all the kids know me as do the likes of Gracie, Amy et al. On their way out through the door I heard one of them ask doubtfully, “Does he really not like you?” Came the reply, “He does, very much. He just likes to insult everybody.”
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Thursday:
You would have to go a long way back to the start of this thread to read about her, if you do not remember violinist Alex. How I drove her to Louth (100 mile round trip) at the age of 18 or so, to do a midday recital with me? How she was a standard issue 18 year old teen nutter at the time and so I drove both ways with BBC Radio 1 (dreadful 'pop' music station) coming out of the car radio?
15 years down the line and Alex has changed from being the sweetest teen I had ever met (imagine what an accolade that is) to the best adult you could ever wish to meet. I would trust her with my life.
She continues to perform at corporate and wedding events, so go to her website at https://www.alexandraviolinist.co.uk/ to read about her - especially if you want a violinist for a wedding or some sort of corporate event. Alex has added teaching to her repertoire of professional activities.
She contacted me last week to ask me to accompany one of her pupils, Fran, in a grade 2 violin exam. I got together for a rehearsal on Tuesday with Fran and we had a great time. It turns out that Alex's teaching skills match her performing skills and Fran is a joy to work with.
For unimportant reasons in this description, the exam was to be held at Grimsby on the east coast, 45 miles away from here, so a 90 mile round trip to accompany a poxy G2 exam lasting 12 minutes. Alex cunningly refrained from mentioning that it was not a local exam until I had agreed to do the accompanying.
Once agreed there was no going back. I could no more say no to Alex than I could to Amy/Gracie/Charlie et al. Just a difference in age, is all.Here is a thing. String players need to have their instruments tuned before a performance - a delicate skill. Alex teaches her pupils to tune their violins so Fran knows how to do this. Consider this: in the hands of a nervous child just before an exam, anything can happen. OK, so given disaster I would do my best but it is not easy to tune a string instrument accurately <note one of Steve's masterly understatements>. So I was rather happy when Alex told me she was coming to the exam to ensure accurate tuning.
Granny was tasked with the job of getting Fran there.
So, we were looking at a round trip of 90 or so miles carried out by three separate vehicles all to ensure that one child can attend an insignificant (in the grand scheme of thingies) amateur graded exam lasting 12 minutes.
This thought occurred to me in time for me to contact Alex and suggest that: we all congregate at her house; she has a lovely car and so does the driving; I would pay for the fuel. One car instead of three. All was duly arranged.
OK, so we still had three adults tied up in delivering one tiny experience to a 14 year old child, but any parent who ever lived will confirm that children are resource-hungry individuals and can only develop into well-rounded individuals if said resources are provided for them. They cannot do it for themselves.
So, we all trooped off to Grimsby. Alex and Fran adore each other. Alex and I adored each other from the first second we met all those years ago. I adored Fran at first sight. Gran adores Alex, who adores her right back and Gran and I made an instant connection via our mutual adoration of Fran and Alex.
So, the entire round trip turned out to be a bit of a love-fest whose memory I will cherish for a long time.
Oh, and the exam went brilliantly.
Hehe. The fee I charge for this kind of work makes it worthwhile doing financially. Usually. This time, factoring in all the time spent, the money on fuel and 'therapies' for Fran, I probably worked for about half the UK national minimum wage. This happens to me from time to time. Hey ho.
It was worth it for the entertainment value and a treasured memory.
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Friday:
Back in school to make up the teaching I missed because of the massive round trip to Grimsby.
I was in 146 and arrived just as the Younger Motley Crew were finishing up and preparing to leave. In wandered Charlie for his piano lesson. He was sat at the piano when one of the girls strolled up and slapped him across the top of his head, none too gently. Then she said to me, “Bye Sir” and headed towards the door.
Charlie barely reacted to the blow so I said, “That was harsh Charlie.”
Came the reply, “It's OK. She is my best mate.”
I called out to best mate's retreating back, “Sweetheart?” She turned to me so I asked, “Charlie is claiming that you and he are besties. Is this true. Does he really have a friend?”
“Yes Sir.”
“How much does his mum pay you?”
<evil grin> “Nowhere near enough” and off she went.
Charlie's note reading has come on apace recently. He is just the latest in a long line of pupils I had previously been expected to prepare for a GCSE music performance despite them not actually reading music. I always found it strange that kids could take a qualification in a subject whilst being functionally illiterate in it. It turns out that Miss agrees with me.
Suddenly, a term into Miss' tenure, Charlie is starting to read music for himself without needing to resort to his cheat sheet. I remarked on this improvement and his reply was, “Miss was furious when she discovered that half of us could not read music and has bullied us until we learned.”
Good on you, Miss.
Little Sweetie Sarah pitched up for her lesson so I growled, “Go away, pain in the neck” at Charlie and called out, “Come on in, wonderful child” to Sarah.
Charlie said, “Come and be tortured Sarah. It is your turn to suffer.”
Sarah looked at me complacently and asked of me, “You would not torture me, would you Sir?”
“No angel. I like you.”
Sarah looked smug, Charlie gave me that smile and wandered off with a call of, “See you next week.” I hope so.
Our lesson progressed and was interrupted when Miss came to pick up some files. She announced, “Sarah got 100% in her performance assessment earlier. She was fabulous.”
Sarah beamed.
I asked her what she played and it turned out to be the first piece in her beginners' book that involved playing with both hands at the same time.
I said, “Sarah, that is fantastic. I am soooooooooo proud of you.”
Her beam could have run the national grid.
