Tuesday 6th June 2021:
First day back after the half-term break. Let's get the sad stuff out of the way first.
Gabby and Amy have moved on, having finished their GCSE's. Miss and I both wanted Gabby to stay but she is determined to attend a 6th form college. I am a
huge supporter of 6th form colleges having taught at one myself for several years. They are not right for all kids and Gabby is the sort of underconfident and sensitive kid who would benefit from staying on at school for a couple more years. Let's hope I am wrong and that the experience brings out a greater level of confidence in her own ability.
Trouble is, her ability far outstrips her belief in it. Plus, her private piano teacher is clearly bollocks - I know that from the amount of stuff he had not taught her when she came to me. Hey ho. Nothing I can do unless she changes her mind.
Amy is a different story. It rapidly became obvious that she moved from piano to drums because she thought it would be an easy option. It ain't. Her teacher did his best for her as I would have done had she continued with me, but he was wasting his efforts. She made no effort throughout the rest of the course. The exam board provided sample questions for staff to set on the syllabus they had been able to cover, to help said staff come up with accurate gradings.
Amy went to sleep during her exam. She has failed the course. She is going to a college to pursue a course in 'music production'. She has some shocks coming if she thinks that is an easy option.
Her recent performance does nothing to stop Miss and Me adoring her. I hope Miss does not feel guilty. I have been around for long enough to know that some kids will not let me help them however hard I try; Miss might not have this sense of perspective yet, although I do my best to help her acquire it. Miss is 25 next birthday. I am 70 next birthday. I would be proud to have her as my granddaughter. I never stop trying to do my best for her.
Here comes the saddest bit, although it came as no surprise given her recent performance in lessons. Another victim of this bloody virus, I suppose.
Little Sweetie Sarah had not come to a lesson prepared to play anything I had 'taught' her since the third UK lockdown eased (or is that the second, or fourth - not sure). So she came to her final lesson before the half-term break and announced, "I might be giving piano lessons a break whilst I catch up on my academic work."
No kid announces that she, "Might be.............." unless she is actually going to.................... Give LSS her due, she said it to my face and I was kind
Yes, she is off my timetable and off the list of pupils to take GCSE music. So sad. She loved it sooooo much for soooooo long.
Nothing I can do, so on to the happy stuff, although it does not start well.
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Today was a bit of an abortion in school. Cute and loving though the kids are, they are pathetic at coping with change. The school decided to abandon this school year and start the next one after this half term.
So, Y7 are embarking on their Y8 course, Y8 on their Y9 etc.
So the two kids that had a lesson this afternoon were the ones that came to ask about their lesson time today. Never mind the damn great notice board they just walked past with all the timetables pinned up, on their way to ask me for their lesson times. At least they came to ask.
I have experience of the first day of timetable changes, so I grabbed them when they appeared and gave them a lesson. One of them was Gwenyth.
G goes from strength to strength. She is not the most advanced student I have taught at the school, but she is the best in terms of determination to succeed and dedication to learning what I have taught her. To give you an idea, the only other one I have taught with the same qualities is an international concert pianist and a staff member at my old alma mater, the Royal Northern College of Music. He could teach me these days - and I can teach everyone else.
G is not going down that route, but we are talking a similar standard of student here. She played me her G2 pieces wonderfully well. I knew that Miss was on her own in 149 so I announced, "Gwenyth, I want Miss to hear you play" and wandered down to drag her up to listen to G.
Y8 pupils chose their GCSE subjects for Y9. Come the end of Y9, there is a further refinement to carry forward to their final two years of GCSE study.
Sadly for Miss and me, Music and Textiles clash and textiles are G's passion, so music is losing out. Fact is though, that G is an exceptional music student and Miss and I are both determined to keep her within the department. So, I continue to give G all the extra time I have previously described. She can have this for as long she can benefit from it. She will cancel it, not Miss or Me.
G is a very shy and quiet child but is starting to buy into the Mr Softie Steve thingy. At one point in our subsequent exchange, MIss asked plaintively, "Why are you not continuing with GCSE music?"
I nudged G and muttered, "Say that it is because I am an idiot."
Once upon a time, a shy and fearful G would have obeyed. Today she merely looked disdainfully at me and replied, "No. I won't".
Not sure if she will ever get to the stage when, under similar circumstances, she would reply by pointing to me disdainfully and replying, "Because he is an idiot." We can hope she does. Imagine how proud
that would make me.
The second child to turn up was Lilly, for only her third piano lesson. The first two were before the break and she had got most of what we had prepared wrong. Hardly a surprise given the speed with which the book I use with her age group (13+) moves but she was clearly apprehensive. I gave her my usual mantra. "Darling, getting this stuff wrong is not a crime. Eating babies is a crime. Playing the piano badly at this stage is not."
Then I always ask, "You don't eat babies, do you?" The to the obvious answer I come back with, "Then you are not a criminal." Life is usually straightforward after that and it was as I gently pointed Lilly in the right direction. I arranged a second lesson for her on Thursday.
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Thursday 10th June 2021:
Lilly pitched up for her second lesson and was clearly much happier. Not quite ready to move on but I was able to confirm that she was on the right track. She left happily.
Then came Jasmine who had changed her hair style completely. Luckily for me, Miss had forewarned me or I would not have recognised her. "Jas," I yelled, "I
love your hair." She looked thrilled that a man had
actually noticed." Don't expect us fellers to be good at this stuff ladies; it ain't going to happen.
One of the thingies that I
did notice was a long blue pen line on her left hand, stretching from her thumb right up underneath her jacket sleeve. I could not resist and so eventually asked, "Sorry to ask such an irrelevant question angel, but I am desperate to know. What is that long blue line on your left arm."
You folks already know how much Miss and I adore this sweet child. We adore all sweet children but also enjoy it when they start to 'come out of themselves' and show some individual character. J is starting to do this.
She pulled up her sleeve to expose a highly decorated left forearm and explained with an expression of guilt, "I was bored and so decided to draw pictures on myself." I reassured her that it is normal for a child trapped in a dull lesson to decorate herself. She looked highly relieved. Message to all of us teachers. You don't want kids to get bored and start expressing their boredom in various ways? Don't bore them.
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My favourite threat is, "Get it right or I stab you with the sharp end of this pencil." Happily, no child has yet run screaming in terror from the room. Unhappily, still no trembling and awe in my presence. Hey ho.
It is becoming clear to all and sundry that the Performing Arts department is staffed by certifiable nutters. Even so, the hysterical screams emanating from the far end of the corridor elicited the occasional nervous response from The Victim sat next to me. I was able to reassure Said Victim that it was merely the drama group torturing someone slowly to death. Since this is a regular alternative threat of mine, Said Victims relaxed instantly.
In came Bailey. I am not sure how much you are going to hear of Bailey as she never does anything insane in my lessons. Let us hope I can corrupt her sufficiently to enable this to change. She is one of the most thoughtful kids I have taught in a long time and it is a joy to sit and watch her work something out for herself. She uses the same tactics I used at the same age. Imagine the speech, "So this note was
here and it was a G, so this note is G. Looking back, the note above this one was B, so this note is A." That sort of thingy. Teachers all over the internet reading this are nodding with approval - we
love watching kids work stuff out for themselves.
Came another ear piercing shriek of agony from the far end of the corridor. Baily said complacently, "Sounds like Miss is stabbing kids with the sharp end of her pencil."
"Yes poppet," I replied.
"I am sure they deserve it."
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Gwenyth came for her customary extra Thursday lesson. I looked down my timetable and saw a spot booked for Charlie. Charlie is now officially a Y12 (i.e. 'A' level) student and is not due back until next week.
Gwenyth is well on top of her G2 exam stuff so I had brought in some new pieces for her to chose from and she chose one. We started on it. It is several orders of magnitude harder than her G2 exam stuff so I offered her Charlie's spot. I said, "Come to me if you want to take up the spot. Stay in your lesson if you think you should. Your choice and no criticism of you if you elect to stay in class."
Of
course she came for the extra time. The child is unstoppable. We peris are required to write a (very) brief report about our pupils at the end of the academic year. Here is mine of G:
Gwenyth is the best student I have
taught at the school.
Fantastic progress by a wonderful student.
She is not just the best student I have taught at the school. Not the most advanced obviously as I coach Diploma candidates, but one of my best students ever in terms of dedication and determination to succeed.
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Come the end of the day and I wandered up to say 'hi' to Miss. She was in the company of Brooke. "Ehup Brooke," I offered.
Miss said, "This isn't Brooke. This is Georgia." Actually, when I looked closer I saw that although there was a resemblance there was also a clear difference. But, how is a guy supposed to resist?
I replied, "No she isn't. I cannot help it if neither you, Brooke nor Brooke's mum know her real name."
Georgia has met me before but not spent a lot of time with me and so was slightly unsure how to react, so Miss chimed in with, "Don't worry Georgia. Sir loves to confuse His Victims and try to convince them that they do not know their own names."
I replied, "Yep. You know the boy who thinks he is Charlie?" "Yes." "He is Sam really." Georgia started to settle down. We were joined by the head of performing arts and a misc teacher wanting to join the senior choir that Miss is starting to recreate now the lockdown is easing.
It is good for kids to see that we teachers are actual human beings as well - especially in a school like this one where discipline is so strict and inflexible. At least, kids like G who will not take advantage. I described my Victims reaction to the screams from along the corridor. HOPA described what the kids had been doing and the fun they had been having.
I said to G at one point, "She is lying you know. Actually she was stabbing them with the sharp end of a pencil," which led to various explanations of the pencil and how Miss has adopted my description of my pupils as, "Victims".
